Moving On
Now I'll withdraw for a moment
the question of my feelings,
and address the challenge
of feeling solitary
on that night in February,
after he left me.
I was deep in the woods
walking swiftly in panic,
when I lost my way
to my own cabin,
where only yesterday
I would sit to read,
or weep long for his arms
to embrace me.
Deep in my soul I have
been so isolated,
all my dreams are
fading away, it's a heartache,
life can be so ruthless,
I don't know what to do.
Sometimes I want to believe
that he will be coming everyday,
every night at the cabin,
where we can both hide
and keep longing
for our tomorrows,
drift into each other's arms,
forget to control our wild love.
I have no viable option
but let myself dream
as my life today is
ruled by my emotions,
far away from being
loved and in love.
My yesterdays are like ghostly
visions of anger, melancholic,
ugliness, waking up afraid,
unable to live a normal life
or even feel normal.
Days are passing by,
my soul feels darker
than darkness,
the clean smell of winter
felt tonight
like a fall of death.
My spirit is breathless,
silent less,
betrayed, struck several
times by you,
that stranger overnight
with a knife in your hands,
stabbing me constantly,
till it felt like I bled to death.
Moving On.
Today waking up,
I touched my wounds
there was no blood,
I ran to the mirror, looked,
awake and not bleeding,
strange I spoke to myself,
I am alive, my soul is rejuvenated,
it feels the light, I feel the world,
I posses it, I can fly, I am smiling,
I feel love, safe, young,
walking, even running towards
a beautiful destination.
Whenever I would link the ability
of my subconscious,
to overcome my desire,
to desire his love,
I straight away
appreciate my Now.
Yet, I still miss him,
But I have moved on.
Therese Bacha
13 September 1014
Copyright © Therese Bacha | Year Posted 2014
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