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Now I'll withdraw for a moment 
the question of my feelings,
 and address the challenge 
of feeling solitary
 on that night in February,
after he left me.
 
I was deep in the woods 
walking swiftly in panic,
when I lost my way
 to my own cabin, 
where only yesterday
 I would sit to read, 
or weep long for his arms
 to embrace me.

Deep in my soul I have 
been so isolated, 
all my dreams are 
fading away, it's a heartache, 
life can be so ruthless,
I don't know what to do.

Sometimes I want to believe 
that he will be coming everyday,
 every night at the cabin,
 where we can both hide 
and keep longing
 for our tomorrows, 
 drift into each other's arms,
 forget to control our wild love.
         
I have no viable option 
but let myself dream 
as my life today is 
ruled by my emotions,
far away from being 
loved and in love.
My yesterdays are like ghostly
visions of anger, melancholic, 
ugliness, waking up afraid,
unable to live a normal life
or even feel normal.

Days are passing by,
my soul feels darker 
than darkness,
the clean smell of winter
 felt tonight
like a fall of death.
My spirit is breathless, 
silent less,
betrayed, struck several 
times by you, 
that stranger overnight 
with a knife in your hands, 
stabbing me constantly,
 till it felt like I bled to death.
     Moving On.
Today waking up, 
I touched my wounds
 there was no blood, 
I ran to the mirror, looked, 
awake and not bleeding, 
strange I spoke to myself, 
I am alive, my soul is rejuvenated,
 it feels the light, I feel the world,
 I posses it, I can fly, I am smiling,
 I feel love, safe, young, 
walking, even running towards
 a beautiful destination.
         
Whenever I would link the ability 
of my subconscious,
 to overcome my desire,
 to desire his love,
I straight away 
appreciate my Now.
Yet, I still miss him,
But I have moved on. 

Therese Bacha
13 September 1014
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