Move Away Leave Him Alone He Is Not Right

Move away, Leave him alone, He’s not right Daddy take me to nursery Yes Son, no problem Lies, lies, mask my fears It is a huge problem Just my thoughts, no words, shield his innocent young ears Smile look happy, act like a perfect Daddy Cold sweats, pumping heart, on my way to his school A journey of dread, my shielded head protects me from stranger’s stares Head down look at the floor Avoid at all costs everyone’s burning glares Getting close now, many parents now transfixed on me with their thousand mile stares Children’s white noise, adults idles chatters Do what is needed then escape, the only thing that matters Get in, drop off, and avoid any contact at all cost “Come on Daddy, you need to help” Panic grows, I can’t remember anything, my mind grows blank Temperature rising, chest tightening, walls closing in A voice from behind starts to spout unwanted advice “His shoes don’t go there” “Have you forgotten his slippers?” “No, no that’s not his peg” I must escape, let me out, let me go, my mind is crushed followed by a plead and beg I want to scream, but panic has engulfed me I kiss him goodbye and say “see you soon”. I feel helpless and lonely, a real buffoon Sprint out of the door, grab the push chair Run and escape, distance myself from a situation I cannot bare Heart is beating so fast, soon it will burst Breathless, weak, helpless, frightened and alone. I collapse on the pavement, cover my head. Roll in a ball, shake, sob, wail and moan. Grab the pushchair, try to get up. No use as I collapse back down in a heap on the floor. Frustration and anger, a myriad of dark emotions I cannot take this anymore Voices approaching, teenage kids walk by, then stop. Laughing and pointing at a floored and feeble sight I try to get up and way using all of my might Another voice utters words that will forever haunt, filling me with feelings of flight, but sadly no fight “Move away, leave him alone, he is not right” I get home after an eternity. Look at the clock, dreading the same again, how can this be I cry and cry dreading the thought of doing it all again, at half past three