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Move away, Leave him alone, He’s not right
 
Daddy take me to nursery
Yes Son, no problem

Lies, lies, mask my fears

It is a huge problem

Just my thoughts, no words, shield his innocent young ears
Smile look happy, act like a perfect Daddy

Cold sweats, pumping heart, on my way to his school
A journey of dread, my shielded head protects me from stranger’s stares
Head down look at the floor
Avoid at all costs everyone’s burning glares
 
Getting close now, many parents now transfixed on me with their thousand mile stares
Children’s white noise, adults idles chatters
Do what is needed then escape, the only thing that matters
Get in, drop off, and avoid any contact at all cost
 
“Come on Daddy, you need to help”
Panic grows, I can’t remember anything, my mind grows blank
 
Temperature rising, chest tightening, walls closing in
A voice from behind starts to spout unwanted advice

“His shoes don’t go there”
“Have you forgotten his slippers?”
“No, no that’s not his peg”

I must escape, let me out, let me go, my mind is crushed followed by a plead and beg
I want to scream, but panic has engulfed me
I kiss him goodbye and say “see you soon”.
I feel helpless and lonely, a real buffoon
 
Sprint out of the door, grab the push chair
Run and escape, distance myself from a situation I cannot bare
Heart is beating so fast, soon it will burst
Breathless, weak, helpless, frightened and alone.
 
I collapse on the pavement, cover my head.
Roll in a ball, shake, sob, wail and moan.

Grab the pushchair, try to get up.
No use as I collapse back down in a heap on the floor.
Frustration and anger, a myriad of dark emotions I cannot take this anymore
 
Voices approaching, teenage kids walk by, then stop.
 
Laughing and pointing at a floored and feeble sight
I try to get up and way using all of my might
 
Another voice utters words that will forever haunt, filling me with feelings of flight, but sadly no fight

“Move away, leave him alone, he is not right”
 
I get home after an eternity.
Look at the clock, dreading the same again, how can this be

I cry and cry dreading the thought of doing it all again, at half past three
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