MOTHERs DAY-THREE YEARS LATER

Mother’s Day-Three Years Later

I may speak to you
as a still portrait on the wall
no wailing
ghosts don’t present
only those of memories
especially
clasping the cross
between my fingers
as it was buried
on your chest
no tears
I only whisper
“Mom…”
are you stirred?
I reach out
truly
lean in
indubitably
to the Lord
who
with no doubt
hears
my heart cry
I don’t use
many words
on
the smile of your shadow
but lean
into
the sure everlasting arms
of Jesus

it’s almost time to honor you
are you still my mother
or merely my sister
in Christ?
do we retain the same relationship
or
is it like husbands & wives?

the bible says
we are like the angels
in heaven
no longer
given
to marriage

so I wonder…
I wondered
at the beginning
of your death -
do I still
have a mother
or
am I motherless?

I tuck
the Mother’s Day card
away
my husband thought
I’d want to put
it into her arms
next to her large portrait
next to her purple urn
on that first motherless occasion

I can’t even look at it
I can’t conceive it
the scent of funereal flowers
fills my living space
and the altar of grief notes
is growing
I throw them down
like a house of cards
likewise discard the flowers
leaving dried petals of sunshine
in a broom closet box

it’s three years later
the dust settles
the drum beats
always reminding me
we must rehearse
every day
not pick up the phone
not regress
be addressed
only by our own

my children can still reach me
if they choose…I’ll hear
Copyright © | Year Posted 2024

Poem

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George Avatar
May 6, 2024 at 8:49 AM
Losing a mother is such a shattering experience initially. Later as time goes she becomes a sad memory. Perhaps it is one loss we can hardly reconcile with. A touching tribute to your departed mother, dear Kim.
Rodrigues Avatar
May 6, 2024 at 11:16 AM
It is a hole in the heart. Like you said, one we can hardly reconcile with, so I try not to think too hard. Thank you, Valsa!
Fowler Avatar
May 5, 2024 at 1:23 PM
A touching and sweet remembrance of your mother Kim. Your words pour out deep emotion and assimilation of loss and memory. :)
Rodrigues Avatar
May 5, 2024 at 5:07 PM
Thank you, Linda! :)
Buhagiar Avatar
May 5, 2024 at 9:47 AM
I have always prayed for your mother that she may take care of you from heaven, as I do for my dear late wife. Always in my thoughts.
Rodrigues Avatar
May 5, 2024 at 10:17 AM
You are so sweet, dear friend! Hugs ~ Kim
One Avatar
May 5, 2024 at 9:12 AM
He Kim, is this fiction? Your poem delves deeply into the complexities of grief and the lingering presence of a loved one who has passed away. It speaks from a place of raw emotion and introspection, exploring your ongoing connection with their mother and grappling with questions of identity and loss. There is no loss like a mother.. i would be lost without mine :(
Rodrigues Avatar
May 5, 2024 at 10:19 AM
This is about me and my mother. I am glad you still have her - cherish her…I know you do. Hugs ~ Kim
Lane Avatar
May 5, 2024 at 7:40 AM
Kim, your heart must have wept while you were writing this introspective poem in honor of your mother. You'll always have tears when you think of your mother. The first Father's Day after my Dad died, I found myself in a Hallmark store, picking out a card for him. Tears blurred my vision all the way home. I loved your phrase, "the smile of your shadows..." Our memories will be restored after death... my belief. Hugs for you, sweet friend.
Rodrigues Avatar
May 5, 2024 at 10:20 AM
I think so too. God is good. My grandson asked me after my mom died, “Grandma, how will we find each other in heaven.” I told him God brought us together and we will find each other. xxoo
Pandit Avatar
May 5, 2024 at 6:40 AM
Words reverberate in memories, my friend. A powerful tribute you wrote, Kim--honoring your mother.
Rodrigues Avatar
May 5, 2024 at 10:21 AM
Thank you, Vijay! Blessings to you ~ Kim
Beaufort Avatar
May 5, 2024 at 5:58 AM
Kim, you very clearly and beautifully point out that grief had an unbounded quality. As far as our place in the universe, it's hard to know what to expect. I do like how you point out the relationship to all this we have with our own children. Not a bad thing to discuss this all with them.
Rodrigues Avatar
May 5, 2024 at 10:22 AM
It was good to hear from my son today and find out he has booked tickets for the grands to come visit. Blessings ~ Kim
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