Mother

i call for mother for she is sleeping on the sofa i look more close for death has come to call on this sunny spring day "mother , "mom" "mommy" no words will wake her for death has made his final round my breaths shall not save her no matter how hard i pump my pleas nor cries will bring her smile back out from behind her blue lips i stand before mother in her favorite dress and i hold her cold hand as those around say it was for the best i lay in mother empty bed smelling her perfume waiting for her just to walk though the door i wait in darkness for my heart has no light my days are full with routine but i am dead on the inside my smiles are fake and my laughs are brittle "just one more day to get though" i am lifess and joyless i am pointless my children grow but i am blind i grow older but my grief ages me even faster my face i no longer recongize though the mirror long roads and dead ends but i can start to breath again recovery is so hard mother but recover is a must my smiles are real and i can now laugh without crying no longer do i look to the door waiting some days are long and i must really work at it some days are so easy that i never want them to end i stand with flowers in my hand and the spring breeze ruffles my hair i look to your grave and i can finally say i will be fine i will be ok