Most Beautiful Girl In the World
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For Jacqueline, my mother
My mothers death shattered me- she was mom and friend,
I lost my anchor and became a cloud floating alone;
I watched mom, the most beautiful girl in the world,
according to dad, fade away with an illness with no cure.
She fought for years with bravery and courage,
at the end she was in a wheelchair and totally dependent;
she gave unconditional love and now it was time to pay it back.
Mom took a turn for the worse and was transferred to a hospital,
the doctor there told me she was dying within a few days;
what do you want to do, he asked, (Like what did that mean!)
he came to me after she started having convulsions with concern.
Saying, he could give her a medication to stop them but,
it would put her in a coma, (I hesitated cause mom could talk to me.)
but at 5 pm decided to let them give it to her to stop the convulsions.
My sister left weeping- I sat at mom's bedside waiting,
I felt her touch my hand and I looked at her and smiled, hi mom;
in a weak voice she said, I love you ____ and went into a coma,
I told them to turn off the machines and she flew up to Heaven.
We gave her a beautiful funeral- if a funeral can be called beautiful,
me, my sister and brothers united as one for mom to do that;
I held myself together, smiling, talking- but I was wilting inside my soul.
Then, at the cemetery, I was handed the ashes of my mother, my mom,
the most important person in my life reduced to a small box;
I broke inside, unseen and silent and never would I ever be the same,
have been told time heals, NO, that is a lie- we push the pain back.
It dwells within like an open wound ready to start bleeding over and over,
I function, I write, I put on a mask of happiness but I am hiding;
for the real me- is still screaming at the unfairness, shouting, WHY!
____________________________
June 16, 2019
Poetry/Narrative/Most Beautiful Girl In The World
Copyright Protected, ID 19-1156-554-02
All Rights Reserved. Written under Pseudonym.
Copyright © Constance La France | Year Posted 2019
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