Morning Breath

I wake up every morning To stare in the face of death I love my wife with all my heart But not her morning breath I put tic tacs under her pillow And even a bottle of scope But do you think she'll ever take a hint Well I'm guessing probably nope I'd swear that woman eats road kill Or something crawled in her mouth and died When she puckers her lips to give me a kiss I look for a place to hide The dog won't lick his butt anymore He licks her mouth instead Don't ever tell her I wrote this If you do I'm as good as dead Okay, you know I'm only kidding I'm not really being mean But you know what I got her for Christmas Yep, a bottle of listerine