Monster Mowers
I am quite content with my little mowing machine; it does the job for me.
But not my crazy neighbors whom I used to call my friends, briefly…
Now they’ve become competitive, crazed out, monsters looking for a win.
Competition was breed deep within, and power is a drug therein…
So when one got a riding mower, the other did one more.
But that was not enough, as the escalation carried forth, for sure…
Now one has torn his fence down, to let his monster roar right in.
The poor guys now need ladders to get upon their seats to take a spin.
And the motors are so powerful; they throw grass way down the street.
The noise is so very deafening, that to forget the roar, it takes all week.
And the tires are so very big that they trample the grass, I swear.
But that doesn’t seem to deter them, as they continue planning in their lairs.
It appears speed is now their latest thought, with which they were truly blessed.
And it doesn’t seem to matter that their yards are the size of a mouses' nest.
So I ran away down the street, the last time they launched those baby’s forth.
And I took out more insurance, in case they go beyond their intended mark.
You see my house sits right between them, and I worry they’ll land upon my roof.
Especially after they were asking my hubby, how fast jet engines can go forth…
And what about nitro burners… will they help give speed and power, too?
In desperation, trying to save my house, I bought front-page newspaper space…
There I declared a place in the city park where safely they could race.
And added: whoever could mow it fast with the best job, would win first place…
And in Hollywood they would find themselves in the new reality show craze.
I found getting someone to film this fiasco wasn’t so very hard to find.
The entire city came out, including the police, even ambulances , with them in mind.
When the competition was over, the mowers were broken and thoroughly spent.
The final declaration was found to be: they’d only simply tied and not won yet…
In the end, one mower was in the city pool and the other on the mayor's car.
The police dispersed the ensuing fight, between the two, not finding it funny at all.
Fortunately, the Doctors said they’d live, their injuries were really rather small.
So they both went home undefeated, to continue the race again once more.
And the only person to truly gain that day was I; you need not have a doubt.
I sold the film to Hollywood and used the funds to buy a far-a-way, different house.
Written 11-11-2011
Copyright © Carol Eastman | Year Posted 2011
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