Monologue of Misery

Hello world Hello universe Today I apologize today I apologize to you today I apologize for giving you my worst for performing below my best for making empty promises I can't keep and for banishing people from my life out of anger, out of spite So please listen to what I have to say It's true I've said so many times I've been grey and I know my reason so this day I will spill the content inside my head I'm grey and I know why I spoke ill of Sarah I know I promised angrily I was over her I know I promised angrily I was over it I know I promised angrily I would never speak of her again but that's just it I said it angrily In my heart I meant every word of it March 12th in my heart everything I said was truth...well to an extent but that was from a deeper dark side of me just tired of dealing with this Was I man that day No I was just bitter I'm bitter and that's just not me I don't know who I am but that's just not me So here I am trying to fix my mistake So here I am thrice trying to fix my mistake My letter to her went unheard my letter to her wasn't a message to say I'm over it was a message to say 'I love you' I said it more than I did when I was with her to make up for all the times I wasn't there to hold her between my frail, warm arms And my attempt to say goodbye was for myself to leave without a hint of pain with every hint of malice and pleasure to finally feel the joy of having her disappear from me... and for a few days I was invincible I was...something else but what they say is true A woman can cry over you for so long but she lets go so easily, leaving you as nobody while us, guys we feel free, vindicated until a few weeks go by and here we are constructing our monologue of misery And my monologue is four years long four years strong but I end it tonight because tonight I end it right Sarah the Sorceress Sarah my Sorceress Sarah heartless Sorceress Sarah forever Sorceress Selena...I'm sorry I'm sorry for how I lashed out I lashed out in anger I was silently frustrated with myself We weren't built to last I always knew I admit I always knew We're just two different people You're a Leo, I'm a Gemini We're just two different people I could tell you weren't in love with me even though I heard the word escape your lips as I whispered them back every night but I made myself believe somehow you were the one for me You moved away from me well I moved away from you as a gift for your birthday and there I refused to let go sinking my tiger claws within your skin just telling you I'm still hanging in just to say you were something worth fighting for but I was just sitting here in make believe trying to fight reality while trying to keep you close to me I failed...I failed in my quest and I tried to move on but my heart stayed with you in protest trying to comfort you in your time of need trying to hold on to a part of me For four years I have tried to find a way back to you for I couldn't accept losing you for I couldn't accept you were stolen from me... by space, by time, by a harsh outline of a life I cannot define I could just sum it up as life loves to kill me My reward for chasing after you all these years is a reputation for the guy who will never let go a reputation for the guy who chases the impossible is a broken heart and a troubled mind I guess I'm crazy I could blame you but it was all me since the day I permitted you to carve my name into your arm I guess I thought that would prove to me I'm yours but I shuddered at the thought that you would be taken away from me Well I'm here now to say I have no love letter to send I have no malice to unleash I just have a broken heart wishing to be repaired You wished for us to be friends but I wish for us to go our separate ways I've stuck to you like glue for years Any further contact with you I may go insane Any further contact with you I just won't be me anymore So here today I let you go Here today take back my harsh words take back my faulty words of my love take back my heart I once left on your desk Here today I officially say goodbye My skies are bleak and I am the color of a cloud when it rains for to this day I miss you yet...I got to let you go So Sarah the Sorceress So Sarah my Sorceress So Sarah heartless Sorceress So Forever Sarah the Sorceress Selena...I say today Goodbye Please don't tell me your wedding date I just pray you have a good day I just pray you are happy always...