Monoku Monday - May 2021

"Well, I Never" posted 3 May 2021 Six musings on the word never... you should never marry a tennis player love means nothing to them my wife tells me I never listen at least that's what I think she says never put off until tomorrow what you can ignore completely why does the night fall but never break yet the day breaks but never falls? i know I'd never make it as an M.D. I don't have the patients never fart in an elevator it's wrong on so many levels [humor attribution - all humor found online, source unknown] "What Do You Do For A Living" posted 10 May 2021 plumbers aren't so bad if it weren't for them, you wouldn't know where to go undertakers aren't so bad they'll always be the last to let you down a sluggish engineer isn't lazy he's energy efficient the Subway worker said they were out of sandwich meats no ham no fowl politician: one who approaches each question with an open mouth seen on the side of a plumber's van: "A flush always beats a full house" [humor attribution - all humor found online, of unknown origin] "This Wonderful Workplace, part 2" posted 17 May 2021 multitasking: me screwing up several tasks all at the same time "it's been a long week" she said monday morning at 11:30 boss, i'm sorry i can't work today i've fractured my motivation it's not your day when the boss tells you "don't bother taking off your coat" pretending I'm a pleasant person all day is downright exhausting my boss told me to go to a webinar i thought she said "winebar" [humor attribution - all humor found online, of unknown origin] "More Holy Humor" posted 24 May 2021 best comedian in Bible times was Samson he brought the house down the first babysitter: David rocked Goliath into a deep sleep atheism the original non-prophet organization difference between a church bell and a pickpocket one peals from the steeple every time I try to cook I offer the Lord a burnt offering after God created for 24 hours he called it a day [humor attribution - #3 from George Carlin, #5 from Edmo Snord; all other humor found online or remembered from childhood, sources unknown] "Book Worms, pt II" posted 31 May 2021 i once read a book called "tsunami" would that count as a title wave? i'm reading a new book in Braille it's going to be good, i can feel it this book about connecting pieces of sheet metal it's riveting my math textbook arrived in the mail at last but it's full of problems that new book on herbs I ordered finally arrived it's about thyme i purchased "how to scam dummies online" i still haven't received it this book on curing dyslexia is the greatest thing since sliced beard [humor attribution - all humor found online, sources unknown]