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"Well, I Never"    posted 3 May 2021

Six musings on the word never...

you should never marry a tennis player      love means nothing to them

my wife tells me I never listen      at least that's what I think she says

never put off until tomorrow      what you can ignore completely

why does the night fall but never break      yet the day breaks but never falls?

i know I'd never make it as an M.D.      I don't have the patients

never fart in an elevator      it's wrong on so many levels

[humor attribution - all humor found online, source unknown]


"What Do You Do For A Living"     posted 10 May 2021

plumbers aren't so bad     if it weren't for them, you wouldn't know where to go

undertakers aren't so bad      they'll always be the last to let you down

a sluggish engineer isn't lazy      he's energy efficient

the Subway worker said they were out of sandwich meats      no ham no fowl

politician:      one who approaches each question with an open mouth

seen on the side of a plumber's van:      "A flush always beats a full house"

[humor attribution - all humor found online, of unknown origin]


"This Wonderful Workplace, part 2"     posted 17 May 2021

multitasking:      me screwing up several tasks all at the same time

"it's been a long week"      she said monday morning at 11:30

boss, i'm sorry i can't work today      i've fractured my motivation

it's not your day when the boss tells you      "don't bother taking off your coat"

pretending I'm a pleasant person all day      is downright exhausting

my boss told me to go to a webinar      i thought she said "winebar"

[humor attribution - all humor found online, of unknown origin]


"More Holy Humor"     posted 24 May 2021

best comedian in Bible times was Samson      he brought the house down

the first babysitter:      David rocked Goliath into a deep sleep

atheism      the original non-prophet organization 

difference between a church bell and a pickpocket     one peals from the steeple

every time I try to cook     I offer the Lord a burnt offering

after God created for 24 hours      he called it a day

[humor attribution - #3 from George Carlin, #5 from Edmo Snord; all other humor found online or remembered from childhood, sources unknown]


"Book Worms, pt II"     posted 31 May 2021

i once read a book called "tsunami"      would that count as a title wave?

i'm reading a new book in Braille      it's going to be good, i can feel it

this book about connecting pieces of sheet metal       it's riveting

my math textbook arrived in the mail at last       but it's full of problems

that new book on herbs I ordered finally arrived      it's about thyme

i purchased "how to scam dummies online"      i still haven't received it

this book on curing dyslexia      is the greatest thing since sliced beard


[humor attribution - all humor found online, sources unknown]
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