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Monoku Monday - Jan 2021

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"2020 Hindsight Collaboration" Posted 4 Jan 2021
new year's resolutions things that go in one year and out the other I resolve to avoid all fatty and unhealthy... wait, is that cake? I can't believe it's been a whole year since I didn't improve myself my resolution is to stop putting things off I start tomorrow I need to eat up all my junk food so it won't be there to tempt me 2021's like Hitler's brother looks good by comparison
The following were kindly contributed by Soup poets (with attributions):
Twenty twenty soon will depart, let’s raise a glass to a brand new start ~ Jan Allison Lets rid the world of this vile virus which drones on like Miley Cyrus ~ Jan Allison why say Happy New Year's on the 2nd? when the year isn't new anymore ~ Alexis Y May 2021 be a happy New Year... one of cheer, not fear ~ Jenna Logan Let's raise a cup o' kindness and toast the New Year... I'm checking IDs ~ Jenna Logan Should auld Corona be left behind... and never again brought to mind ~ Jenna Logan enter twenty twenty one but only if you've been vaccinated ~ Tom Cunningham
// Heartfelt gratitude to those who sent contributions - hope you had fun... here's to pulling together to make 2021 a big improvement over the year that shall not be named... ~ John // "Steven Wright Edition" Posted 11 Jan 2021
at the general store they won't let me buy anything specific if at first you don't succeed you probably shouldn't try skydiving a candle shop burned down everyone started singing happy birthday whenever I think of the past it brings back so many memories if everything is coming your way you're probably in the wrong lane cross country skiing is really fun if you live in a small country a lot of people are afraid of heights not me, I'm afraid of widths
[attribution - all humor by the inimitable Steven Wright my gratitude to Susan Ashley for the suggestion] "Dubious Definitions" Posted 18 Jan 2021
narcissist: a person who is always me-deep in conversation inflation: the thing that makes balloons bigger and candy bars smaller politician: one who will do anything for workers but be one cynic: a person who smells flowers and starts looking for a coffin centipede: when you only emptied one one-hundredth of your bladder decaffeinated: a mama cow after giving birth
[humor attributions: number 5 by Edmo Snord, all others found online] "Just Asking" Posted 25 Jan 2021
what do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? why do people drive on parkways and park on driveways? it seems rude if pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? why do people say 'hot water heater'? don't they heat up cold water? if #2 pencils are most preferred why are they still #2? is the glass half empty, half full, or twice as big as it needs to be?
[humor attribution: #2 and #3 from Richard Lederer, #4 from Edmo Snord, all others found online - attribution unknown]

Copyright © | Year Posted 2021




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Date: 1/8/2021 10:17:00 PM
It is best to throw away the junk food out or give it away so those saturated fat won't go around your waist, John. I was surprise no mater how old you are they still checking IDs, Jenna. Hugs Eve
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John Watt
Date: 1/10/2021 11:36:00 PM
So true, get rid of the junk food and empty calories. The waist says yes, the tongue says, no way! Thanks for stopping by Eve. Hugs ~ John
Date: 1/7/2021 8:19:00 PM
I'm with Gershon - 'in one year, out the other' is the clear winner! (though the cake does strike a cord~) Here's wishing you a prosperous 2021, John :)
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John Watt
Date: 1/8/2021 1:29:00 PM
Thank you, my friend. Wishing you all the best in 2021. ~ John
Date: 1/4/2021 7:23:00 PM
Love 'in one year and out the other!' You've certainly got a good thing going with 'Monoku Monday,' John! Please give yourself a Monday or two off once in a while though, so you don't get 'stale.' ~ Your Prototype Jewish Mother (Remember to wear your galoshes!)
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John Watt
Date: 1/5/2021 12:29:00 AM
Thank you, thank you, you've been a great audience, thank you... seriously, I appreciate your kind friendship. I think I have a Monday off scheduled for some time in June ~ Your Prototype Jewish Son
Date: 1/4/2021 2:38:00 PM
well, hmmm, I am not crazy about Tom's. hahaha. Jan's about Miley Cirus is really funny. I enjoyed ALL of the ones you collected, John and it is always a pleasure to see your MONDAY funnies.
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John Watt
Date: 1/4/2021 11:40:00 PM
I kind of figured you might have that reaction. Thanks for being a regular, Andrea.
Date: 1/4/2021 2:38:00 PM
i enjoyed your lines, john, and the collaborative efforts as well. happy new year!
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John Watt
Date: 1/4/2021 11:35:00 PM
thank you for dropping in and leaving me with your kind words, ilene ~ john
Date: 1/4/2021 7:44:00 AM
I am honoured to have my lines included on your page, Happy new year John:-) hugs jan xx
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John Watt
Date: 1/4/2021 9:58:00 AM
The honour was mine, my friend. Thank you for your contribution and happy new year to you. Hugs ~ John
Date: 1/4/2021 7:24:00 AM
Hi John, I really enjoyed these. They are a great way to start the day. I'm delighted to be apart of your collaboration. Happy New Year, my friend:-) Alexis
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John Watt
Date: 1/4/2021 9:56:00 AM
Thanks for joining in the fun, Alexis! I loved your contribution. Happy 2021 to you, friend ~ John
Date: 1/4/2021 3:35:00 AM
Love these, John... awesome write. God bless you friend... with joy, hope, faith, peace and love that is sent from above
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John Watt
Date: 1/4/2021 9:54:00 AM
Glad you enjoyed this, Gina. Blessings to you ~ John
Date: 1/4/2021 1:17:00 AM
Been looking forward to these John, all gems Great monokus to start the day. Happy New year to you. Tom
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John Watt
Date: 1/4/2021 1:25:00 AM
Same to you, Tom. Thank you ever so much for joining in the fun, I loved your contribution to the cause. Enjoy your day, I'm just heading to bed now ~ John