Jan Allison Poet Free verse

Men You Definitely Wouldn'T Want To Date - Part 1

I once dated a pilot …
We both had our head in the clouds
Our relationship lead to a lot of turbulence - 
I guess it never really got off the ground!

I once dated a glazier…
He thought I would be putty in his hands
But I could see right through him…
He was constantly smashed

I once dated an undertaker…
He knew he had stiff competition
I couldn’t cope - he was always ‘coffin’ when he picked me up in his hearse
He had no sense of humour in fact he was dead boring

I once dated an angler
The thought he was a real catch…
But the scales soon fell from my eyes
As he was obsessed with his flies

I once dated a footballer
He thought he could score with me
Told me he had great tackle…
But it was just a load of balls

I once dated a fishmonger…
He thought he was cod’s gift to women
He invited me back to his plaice…
Where I found out he was really a cold fish

Submitted to 101 poems in a row 
Sponsored by PD Linda:-)

15th April 2016

♡Like0

Share Poem

---

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

1 2

Darren White November 19, 2016 at 9:56 PM LOL Jan, I only read this one now, because you mentioned it as part of the performance on stage. This is SO SO SO SO funny :D HUGS xx Jan Allison November 20, 2016 at 6:43 AM Thanks Darren:-) There are parts 2 and 3 also lol. I chose 7 from about 20 of the occupations - there are more in the pipeline as I got pulled up after the show that I hadn't written about a banker or accountant ... so I am working on it - I have several more that were started but still need another line adding to them including the milkman lol lol lol:-) hugs jan xx

Lynn Marie August 28, 2016 at 12:49 AM ...so funny...and...this was honoured as POTD to boot...how great is that :-) this series could easily be compiled into a great book..imagine your words with illustrations.:-) many blessings to you and your muse :-) lynn Jan Allison September 3, 2016 at 4:58 PM I will probably use a few of my favourites from all 3 poems when I finally get my act together and get a book formatted:-) hugs jan xx

Mama Bear April 21, 2016 at 6:38 AM Congrats on POTD Have not been keeping up but promise to do better. Hugs Edith Jan Allison April 21, 2016 at 6:40 AM Thanks so much Mama Bear I thought this would appeal to your sense of humour:-):-) hugs Jan xx

Rizwana Bhurani April 17, 2016 at 4:46 AM Funny, creative...... You must had to really cook up for this....enjoyed.....Congrats Jan Allison April 17, 2016 at 4:56 AM Thanks Rizwana - I had great fun writing this and part 2 and parts 3 and 4 are on their way lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Manmath Dalei April 17, 2016 at 1:53 AM Hi Jan, Hearty congratulation for POTD. U really deserve it.I wish all best.Keep it up............with love. Jan Allison April 17, 2016 at 4:14 AM Thanks so much Manmath:-) hugs Jan xx

J. Tudor April 16, 2016 at 6:27 PM Love this Jan, and part 2...good thing you never met a proctologist.! J. Jan Allison April 16, 2016 at 6:29 PM ha ha ha - I ditched him - he was a pain in the butt:-) hugs jan xx

Gary Bateman April 16, 2016 at 5:45 PM Jan, Congratulations on POTD!! You certainly make me chuckle with this one. Most Excellent!! Cheers and Best, Gary Jan Allison September 3, 2016 at 4:58 PM There is a part 3 now Gary lol:-) hugs Jan xx Gary Bateman April 16, 2016 at 6:01 PM I'll have to check Part 2 out . . . Gary Jan Allison April 16, 2016 at 5:48 PM Thanks so much Gary I had fun writing this and part 2 has also been posted:-) hugs Jan xx

Edlynn Nau April 16, 2016 at 1:35 PM So clever! Adore the play on words and always love when someone pokes words with a stick to make them jump. This is pure fun, a good time, a smirk at the difficulty of dating! I know these guys (and a few more). LOVE IT! A7 just for playing with us and leaving us smiling. Jan Allison April 16, 2016 at 3:05 PM Thanks Edlynn I had great fun writing parts one and two and am in the process of writing poems from a man's point of view and also another one of this style:-) hugs Jan xx

Joseph May April 16, 2016 at 12:14 PM Congrats on your POTD Jan... Jan Allison April 16, 2016 at 3:02 PM Thanks for your support Joseph:-) hugs Jan xx

Red Fiery April 16, 2016 at 10:49 AM Congratulations for this fascinating write...!!!! I really ienjoyed reading this one... I had dated a pilot and a footballer ... I would tell you about them someday... 7/7.. Hugs Red Jan Allison April 16, 2016 at 3:02 PM You should write a poem about them Red lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Daniel Turner April 16, 2016 at 10:20 AM Back to say congratulations for POTD Jan. I hope nobody accuses you of having fun, that would be terrible. Thank you for making me laugh. Peace nice lady:) Jan Allison April 16, 2016 at 3:02 PM Thanks Daniel:-) have written 2 more lots lol:-) hugs jan xx

Casarah Nance April 16, 2016 at 8:36 AM haahaa very good, !! Grats on poem of the day, this deserves it, :) Jan Allison April 16, 2016 at 8:43 AM Many thanks Cas - LOVE the new avatar:-):-)hugs Jan xx

James Inman April 16, 2016 at 7:38 AM How wonderfully clever Jan. Excellent write, very funny. Jan Allison April 16, 2016 at 8:42 AM Many thanks James I had fun with this theme:-)hugs Jan xx

Tim Smith April 16, 2016 at 7:14 AM Congrats on POTD.... Now if I only dated a farmer...next Jan Allison April 16, 2016 at 7:21 AM LOL Ok Tim I will continue the fun lol:-) hugs jan xx

Brian Davey April 16, 2016 at 6:43 AM Great write Jan very cute scenario's! Jan Allison April 16, 2016 at 6:49 AM Thanks Brian I have posted part two too lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Anne-Lise Andresen April 16, 2016 at 5:14 AM - Congrats, Jan !!!! -Poem of the Day - :))) - hugs // Anne-Lise :) Jan Allison April 16, 2016 at 6:48 AM Woohooo - I couldn't see it before it was still showing as Daniel's poem:-) many thanks for all your support:-) hugs Jan xx

Carly Lalion April 16, 2016 at 3:02 AM These men are in the pits and you are flying high, lol! Good one! Jan Allison April 16, 2016 at 4:26 AM Thanks Carly I had fun writing this and part 2 has been posted:-) hugs jan xx

Arthur Vaso April 15, 2016 at 7:36 PM Loved this!!!! Soooooooo funny! What ever could have inspired this? Jan Allison April 16, 2016 at 4:26 AM I was sitting on the bus going into Douglas and wrote 2 verses then finished the rest in the pub - where my inspiration comes from I have no idea but maybe the book is spurring me on:-) hugs jan xx

Andrea Dietrich April 15, 2016 at 6:51 PM haha. you are doing GREAT with this theme. So clever you are Jan Allison April 16, 2016 at 4:24 AM Have written part 2 and now working on the reverse theme of women men wouldn't want to date lol:-) hugs jan xx

Lindsay Laurie April 15, 2016 at 6:46 PM By gosh Jan ... you must be worn out - Lindsay Jan Allison April 16, 2016 at 4:23 AM Ha ha ha - thankfully all fiction:-) hugs jan xx

Joseph May April 15, 2016 at 6:15 PM I love the humour Jan...Great write Jan Allison April 15, 2016 at 6:19 PM Thanks Joseph:-) hugs jan xx

Constance La France April 15, 2016 at 4:41 PM Jan, freedom becomes you, my funny little poet, your muse is on fire, I loved this 7, now off to read part 2 ~ Jan Allison September 3, 2016 at 4:59 PM There is a part 3 now Constance:-) hugs Jan xx Jan Allison April 15, 2016 at 4:42 PM Thanks my friend I had fun reading this:-) hugs jan xx

Charmaine Chircop April 15, 2016 at 3:46 PM Haha... Loved this one. Very funny : ) . Oh gee I wouldnt want the undertaker . : ) Jan Allison April 15, 2016 at 3:55 PM LOL - thankfully none of it is true:-) hugs Jan xx

Connie Marcum Wong April 15, 2016 at 3:16 PM I don't know how you come up with such humorous thoughts Jan. This is a gas! I loved it! #7 ; ) Jan Allison April 15, 2016 at 3:20 PM I have posted part 2 today Connie... I started to write this on the bus yesterday and finished it in the pub lol - I do worry about my muse and where this creativity comes from - it must be a family trait my uncle and aunt both write humnourous poems - many limericks... I think it has just taken my husband's cancer for me to unleash this creativity that has taken me quite by surprise:-) hugs Jan xx

Daniel Turner April 15, 2016 at 10:55 AM You are so funny, Jan. I really love your humor. Good thing you never dated a trucker. Peace my friend:) Jan Allison April 15, 2016 at 11:21 AM Thanks Daniel:-) I am almost finished part 2 lol:-) hugs jan xx

1 2