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Notes About The Poem

Memory of Your Betrayal

Those lying eyes, yes I knew them so well 
I found out you’d had another affair 
Your deception made life a living hell 
On your jacket I’d found her long blonde hair 

I found out you’d had another affair 
Our wedding vows, they meant nothing to you 
On your jacket I’d found her long blonde hair 
No more chances, because this time we’re through 

Our wedding vows, they meant nothing to you 
I bid adieu to your cold cheating heart 
No more chances, because this time we’re through 
I’ve packed my bags, as I need a fresh start

I bid adieu to your cold cheating heart 
Your deception made life a living hell 
I’ve packed my bags, as I need a fresh start 
Those lying eyes, yes I knew them so well
 
FICTION WRITE  for Dust off a Memory Contest
Sponsored by Broken Wings


Pantoum Form 10 syllables per line

10-20-17

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Eve Roper Date: 10/30/2017 10:27:00 AM Jan, congratulations on your win! Hugs Eve Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 10/30/2017 1:18:00 PM Thanks Eve-) hugs jan xx

Constance La France Date: 10/30/2017 9:29:00 AM Jan, congratulations on your win in my contest with this excellent fictional write, you do fiction well, dear heart ! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 10/30/2017 1:18:00 PM Thanks so much Constance i do adore the pantoum form:-) hugs jan xx

Joseph May Date: 10/30/2017 7:44:00 AM Congrats on your win Jan Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 10/30/2017 1:18:00 PM Thanks Joseph:-) hugs jan xx

Sandra Haight Date: 10/29/2017 6:41:00 PM Wonderfully written, Jan, and so emotionally charged. Congratulations on your win in the contest. Hugs, Sandra Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 10/30/2017 1:18:00 PM Thanks Sandra:-) hugs jan xx

Brian Davey Date: 10/29/2017 12:18:00 PM Great Pantoum Jan and congrats on your well deserved win Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 10/29/2017 5:19:00 PM Thanks Brian I think this is one of my favourite forms to write its a challenge but so rewarding when the poem is finished:-) hugs Jan xx

Alexis Y. Date: 10/29/2017 9:28:00 AM Hi Jan, I'm just coming back to say congratulations on your placement in the contest:-) Alexis Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 10/29/2017 5:19:00 PM Thanks so much Alexis:-) hugs Jan xx

John Gondolf Date: 10/29/2017 9:09:00 AM Congrats, Jan, well deserved! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 10/29/2017 5:18:00 PM Thanks John I love writing this form:-) hugs jan xx

Alexis Y. Date: 10/21/2017 12:51:00 PM WoW! Jan, You've penned a well written piece. That many can relate to. You could feel an intense anger all through your poem. Betrayal is never okay, I would rather my mate tell me we we’re through than to get betrayed. It would hurt like hell but I would get over it. Excellent emotive write. I wish you the best of luck in the contest:-) Alexis Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 10/21/2017 2:06:00 PM Thanks Alexis, I am lucky its not something that has happened to em but i do have friends who have had unfaithful partners and can use that in my writing:-( hugs jan xx

Russell Sivey Date: 10/21/2017 6:57:00 AM This is a very powerful write, so full of passion and anger! I know that this is fiction, but it feels so real that I would have thought you've been through this before, just by the words of your poem! You have portrayed your piece quite excellently, and have written a remarkable poem, Great Work!! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 10/21/2017 9:36:00 AM Thanks Russell I do enjoy this form and the impact of the repeated lines:-) hugs jan xx

Susan Ashley Date: 10/20/2017 8:48:00 PM A well-written, sadly emotional pantoum Jan. Your poem has a really wonderful flow and rhyme and the content is excellent. Many can relate to the heartbreak, sadness and anger of a betrayal like this. Good luck in the contest! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 10/21/2017 3:06:00 AM I love the pantoum form Susan , I never know what my muse will come out with, I hope Constance likes the poem, its fiction for me but sadly others can relate to the betrayal of a partner:-( hugs jan xx

Sunlite Wanter Date: 10/20/2017 5:28:00 PM Oh, yes, there is betrayal in most of our memories. How brave you are to attack this form and make such a lovely story within it. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 10/20/2017 5:30:00 PM Thankfully the poem is fiction for me Sunlite but I know there are people who can sadly relate to it:-( hugs jan x