Memories of a Child

The family am supposed to be a member of, the house am supposed to be a part of, filled my days with sorrow and pain.. On Christmas, I sneak out for a while Watching other kids Opening their gifts With a smile drawn on their face and they’re parents giving them a kiss, then watching me looking at them with painful tears filling my eyes.. I wanted to tell her how much I miss her, I wanted to tell him How much I respect him I wanted to tell them How much I love them But they won’t listen to me They would hit me instead And me from deep inside I cry: “please stop hitting me please, Please have mercy on my innocent soul please” am a child that cant bare anymore. Pain Is what I always feel, Swears Is what I always hear.. I escaped but then came back knowing that nobody would accept a child like me, a child with torn clothes and dirty hair. I escaped But then came back Knowing that I have to accept my fate.. Am barely alive from outside But totally dead from inside.. Asking god, To reborn the me in me Is what I always do Although I know he’s against me too.. hate is what is see in their eyes.. they made me taste the bitterness of life although am still a child they hate me very much although am still a child a weight of a mountain is on my back although am still a child.. I always ask god To forgive my sins Although I don’t have any, I always ask god To moderate my agony Although I know he wont.. Day and night I wonder If she would ever remember me When I die, Day and night I wonder if she would ever remember that she had a child when I die.. before I left, I wrote them a letter that said: “mommy and daddy I love you, Am sorry if I had ever disappointed you, am sorry, if I was a naught boy, Am sorry mom for not finishing my courses on time the last few days but I was tired mom, really tired, I always wanted a kiss from you, I always wanted a hug From you, I always wanted to feel Am your child. I needed you with me, I never knew why you hated me.. and now mom and dad I’ll leave, it’s time now, God wants me to be with him, Mommy and daddy, I love you”