Sara Murad Poet Free verse

Memories of a Child

The family
am supposed to be a member of,
the house
am supposed to be a part of, 
filled my days 
with sorrow and pain..
On Christmas,
I sneak out for a while 
Watching other kids 
Opening their gifts
With a smile drawn 
on their face
and they’re parents
giving them a kiss, 
then watching me
looking at them 
with painful tears 
filling my eyes..
I wanted to tell her
how much I miss her,
I wanted to tell him 
How much I respect him
I wanted to tell them
How much I love them 
But they won’t listen to me
They would hit me instead 
And me from deep inside
I cry:
“please stop hitting me please, 
Please have mercy 
on my innocent soul please”
am a child
 that cant bare anymore.
Pain 
Is what I always feel,
Swears 
Is what I always hear..
I escaped 
but then came back
knowing that nobody
would accept 
a child like me,
a child with torn clothes
and dirty hair.
I escaped 
But then came back
Knowing that 
I have to accept my fate..
Am barely alive from outside 
But totally dead from inside..
Asking god, 
To reborn the me in me 
Is what I always do 
Although I know
he’s against me too..
hate 
is what is see in their eyes..
they made me taste 
the bitterness of life 
although am still a child
they hate me very much
although am still a child
a weight of a mountain 
is on my back 
although am still a child..
I always ask god
To forgive my sins 
Although I don’t have any, 
I always ask god 
To moderate my agony 
Although I know he wont..
Day and night I wonder 
If she would ever remember me 
When I die,
Day and night I wonder 
if she would ever remember
that she had a child 
when I die..
before I left, 
I wrote them a letter 
that said:
“mommy and daddy 
I love you,
Am sorry
if  I had ever disappointed you,
am sorry, 
if I was a naught boy, 
Am sorry mom 
for not finishing my courses on time 
the last few days 
but I was tired mom, 
really tired,
I always wanted a kiss
from you, 
I always wanted a hug
From you,
I always wanted to feel
Am your child.
I needed you with me, 
I never knew
why you hated me..
and now mom and dad
I’ll leave, it’s time now, 
God wants me to be with him,
Mommy and daddy,
I love you”

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