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Memories Beyond the Door

The mind is like a swinging door, Opening and closing all the time. It remembers everything good and bad. Intrusions take over the mind if aloud. But even though I know this well, A fear erupts now and then from deep within- Growing old, not dying, but living way too long, Ending up in a nursing home lonely and forgotten, Broken, walking-not, my freedom cut short, Dependent on not myself, but hands of many strangers, Cries are ignored, silencing my tears forcing them within My numerous surgeries have deepened these fears. I'm used to a spine fused too many times, And legs weakened far too long. What will happen to me When I no longer can care for myself? "Don't worry about tomorrow, enjoy today" Hard to do when I allow my fears to override my thoughts. 05/01/2013

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Caleah Buil

Date: 5/10/2013 11:07:00 AM

So sad and yet so nice. Can feel the pain in this. Congrats! :)

Connie Gildersleeve
Date: 5/10/2013 2:50:00 PM

Thank you Caleah for your congrats. Much appreciated. Connie

Francine Roberts

Date: 5/9/2013 11:13:00 PM

touching entry Connie, congrats on your win in the contest

Connie Gildersleeve
Date: 5/10/2013 2:51:00 PM

Francine thank you for your congrats. Much appreciated. Connie

Donna Jones

Date: 5/9/2013 6:12:00 PM

Well Connie...I'm proud for you that your heartfelt poem was recognized...no matter where our clay pots reside we are not alone...God knows the whereabouts of even His sparrows..you are in my prayers.

Connie Gildersleeve
Date: 5/10/2013 2:52:00 PM

Thank you Donna for your heartfelt comment. It means a lot. Warm Smiles, Connie

Joyce Johnson

Date: 5/9/2013 2:53:00 PM

As we age it is easy to let the fear enter. We canot escape it. Congratulations on your win. Love, joyce

Connie Gildersleeve
Date: 5/10/2013 2:53:00 PM

Thank you Joyce for your congrats. It means a lot. Connie

Abdulhafeez Oyewole

Date: 5/9/2013 12:51:00 PM

Congrats on your win.

Connie Gildersleeve
Date: 5/10/2013 2:55:00 PM

Thank you for your congrats. It means a lot. Connie

Carrie Richards

Date: 5/9/2013 9:06:00 AM

Yes........you express what so many fear in such an eloquent and honest poem. You are not alone in what worries you........these are the things that can wake one in the night with fear and dread. Well said, Connie.....a big congratulations to you.

Connie Gildersleeve
Date: 5/10/2013 2:56:00 PM

Thank you Carrie for your heartfelt comment and congrats . It means a lot. Warm Smiles, Connie

Debbie Guzzi

Date: 5/3/2013 6:16:00 PM

I so hear YOU, there's no way of knowing Connie maybe we'll just keel over and die at the snap of a finger? Light & Love

Connie Gildersleeve
Date: 5/3/2013 7:26:00 PM

I see how it is every time I visit my brother. He's been in a nursing home for years. Only his eyes can speak, no voice has he. My heart brakes for him. Dear Lord let me go in my sleep.

Donna Jones

Date: 5/1/2013 9:49:00 PM

I do understand your fears..I have an aunt who has been nursing home bound thirty some years...but also Russell is right...life can change in a blink for a healthy person...too...God bless and calm your concerns...

Connie Gildersleeve
Date: 5/2/2013 4:50:00 PM

On my bad days or after visiting my brothers fear thoughts escape. Hopefully by the end of June I'll be able to start physical therapy. Donna thank you for your comment. Much appreciated. Warm S lies, Connie

Russell Sivey

Date: 5/1/2013 5:05:00 PM

There should be little worries about the far future my friend, or even the near future that might be changed at any moment! I usually enjoy the near future as that is what I can change immediately! And my poetry is always with me no matter where I go, as I know it is for almost everyone here on the Soup! This is a tremendous and enlightening write my friend! I truly loved reading this awesome poem this evening! What a pleasurable piece, Great Work!!

Connie Gildersleeve
Date: 5/1/2013 6:20:00 PM

My brother has been in a nursing home for many years. Imprisoned within his body, only his eyes speaks out to me. I know this is why I have these fears and with my health problems, my fears arise now and then. Poetry is a great tool to free the heart and mind. Thank your Russell for you comment. It means a lot to me. Warm Smiles, Connie