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Memoirs of a Gay-Sha

When I was 10 my world was fun
Filled with friends and joy & laughter
I didn't know what was to come
Who I'd become thereafter
 
11 came and I changed schools
With all my friends and aspirations
Along came homework and more rules
A pretty rigid education
 
Walking down the corridor
My arms around 2 friends
They said "stop!" they'll think we're gay
And right away, my innocence ends
 
I knew that word could not be good
Not something I should be
So I agreed and shrugged it off
After all, what had that to do with me?
 
First they started on and off
And then became relentless
Shouting ***, fairy, queen and poof
I was just a kid, alone and defenceless
 
I felt humiliated, but you see
I thought, this can not last!?
And then my friends turned their backs on me
I felt my spirit shrinking fast
 
8 hours a day, 5 days a week
Was more thank I could take
For 7 years my prison grew
If I was going to survive, I had to escape!
 
The bullying got worse you see
I couldn't speak of this at home
My mind became a safe place to be
And I got "I'm not normal, I'm alone!"
 
When they laughed and passed pictures of me around the room
And the humiliation started
My face turned red, I felt despair and gloom
Then into my head I departed
 
I knew from now on that I was doomed
Life could never be the same
Because in the background something loomed
The voice in my head said I was to blame
 
I couldn't understand when I screamed out inside
Why nobody could ever hear me
No one helped when I stood and cried
No one came to rescue me
 
As an adult I found it bizarre
Why can't I let anyone in?
I couldn't see the prison bars
That kept me safe, but trapped within
 
I was pretty smart I guess
This prison I created
Kept me from harm, keeps in the mess
Whenever I'm humiliated
 
I ask you please consider all
When you see "Leave me alone"
Hear me shout from behind my prison wall
Don't Ever leave me alone!

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Butterfly Mantra Date: 2/28/2015 3:55:00 AM Heart breakingly, beautifully written! 7 from me! Login to Reply

Skat A Date: 2/1/2015 4:15:00 PM SCOTT, Awesome WIN.... CONGRATS luv ~ SKAT ~ Login to Reply

Jan Allison Date: 2/1/2015 10:21:00 AM heartbreaking write - being judged by others for how you are not who you are as a person - I have friends both straight and gay - I love them for who they are - a 7 from me :-) Hugs jan xx Login to Reply

Poet Destroyer A Date: 2/1/2015 9:54:00 AM Scott, CONGRATULATIONS!!! :) Thank you for supporting one of my contest. Stop by my latest blog "Own your Beauty" if you'd like or have time. Have yourself a wonderful day. Love LINDA Login to Reply

Mario De Paz Date: 9/18/2014 10:10:00 AM You are not alone, Scott. Anyone has the right to be a gay. It is only a personal choice and matter of freedom. I am not a gay, but I respect gays, it is only a question of personal choices which I have not done. Very good write, welcome in this community forever.... Login to Reply