Memoirs of a Gay-Sha

When I was 10 my world was fun Filled with friends and joy & laughter I didn't know what was to come Who I'd become thereafter 11 came and I changed schools With all my friends and aspirations Along came homework and more rules A pretty rigid education Walking down the corridor My arms around 2 friends They said "stop!" they'll think we're gay And right away, my innocence ends I knew that word could not be good Not something I should be So I agreed and shrugged it off After all, what had that to do with me? First they started on and off And then became relentless Shouting ***, fairy, queen and poof I was just a kid, alone and defenceless I felt humiliated, but you see I thought, this can not last!? And then my friends turned their backs on me I felt my spirit shrinking fast 8 hours a day, 5 days a week Was more thank I could take For 7 years my prison grew If I was going to survive, I had to escape! The bullying got worse you see I couldn't speak of this at home My mind became a safe place to be And I got "I'm not normal, I'm alone!" When they laughed and passed pictures of me around the room And the humiliation started My face turned red, I felt despair and gloom Then into my head I departed I knew from now on that I was doomed Life could never be the same Because in the background something loomed The voice in my head said I was to blame I couldn't understand when I screamed out inside Why nobody could ever hear me No one helped when I stood and cried No one came to rescue me As an adult I found it bizarre Why can't I let anyone in? I couldn't see the prison bars That kept me safe, but trapped within I was pretty smart I guess This prison I created Kept me from harm, keeps in the mess Whenever I'm humiliated I ask you please consider all When you see "Leave me alone" Hear me shout from behind my prison wall Don't Ever leave me alone!