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Melancholic

I'm sunbird of the sketched skyline, Soaring across soft sheaths Of ebony moonflowers, Inhaling gossamer death, tonight.

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Joanna Daniel

Date: 10/18/2023 2:27:00 AM

A true picture of melancholy you paint here, Hiya:) congratulations:) p.s: soupmail:)

Linda Alice Fowler

Date: 10/17/2023 10:29:00 AM

Lovely Hiya. Each line exquisite in your penning. Congratulations! :)

Jennifer Proxenos

Date: 10/17/2023 10:06:00 AM

Melancholic could not be described more aptly - your first line 'dear Hiya , 'I'm sunbird of the sketched skyline' such bliss, such freedom, in contrast to your last line 'Inhaling gossamer death tonight' which symbolizes such darkness and sadness - this brief write tells how fabulous and eloquent you are in creating poetry with stunning imagery. Hugs and blessings, Jennifer.

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 10/17/2023 2:15:00 AM

- Congratulations on your win in the contest, Hiya :) - hugs

Charlotte Puddifoot

Date: 10/16/2023 1:29:00 PM

beautifully written, with lovely alliteration and imagery, but with a dark undercurrent - congrats on your win in the contest :)

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 10/16/2023 11:23:00 AM

great description of melancholy!

Silent One

Date: 10/15/2023 8:50:00 AM

Remember a one liner should be on one line, even when it over flows it is not a paragraph.. Congratulations on your win in the contest.

Valsa George

Date: 10/14/2023 9:47:00 PM

Though short , your poem is a crystallised gem of fire and feeling.... Hiya. The phrase 'ebony moonflowers' suggests a lot. The 'sunbird tangled in gossamer death' is so evocative. Like a true artist, through suggestions, you have portrayed a grievous picture of one drowning in the whirlpool of melancholy! Incredibly beautiful and acutely touching.

Susan Ashley

Date: 10/14/2023 10:05:00 AM

Dear Hiya, your exceptional verse is a potent little package of poetry. "Ebony moonflowers" is powerfully evocative and a great lead into your last impactful line for a grand finale! The contrast between a "sunbird" and "ebony moonflowers" is striking and sparkles of alliteration enhance the deep beauty of your artistry. Your last line is a soulful mournful poetic gem! Your golden pen shines ever brighter in the darkness. Warmest wishes, sweet friend.. ~Susan

Bill Baker

Date: 10/13/2023 4:11:00 PM

Sometimes a short form is better when you pack a powerful punch as you do, Hiya. Your imagery is soothing and message clear. Have a joyful weekend, my friend. Bill

Sotto Poet

Date: 10/13/2023 6:40:00 AM

Dear Hiya, your poem is a wonderful depiction to your high poetry skills. You manage to convey so much thoughts in only a few lines. Your great imagery and metaphorical diction shed more beauty layers to this already stunning brevity. Blessings

Mat Ignacio

Date: 10/12/2023 8:54:00 PM

A lovely piece of consciousness.

Sara Etgen-Baker

Date: 10/12/2023 2:52:00 PM

a masterful creation, Hiya. The imagery was beautiful and soft...evening the last line was soft...inhaling gossamer death..Wow! The metaphor was perfect. I love this one through and through. Have a blessed evening, Sara

Paige Hind

Date: 10/12/2023 1:30:00 PM

The metaphor to this is very dark and deep. Sometimes, we find ourselves in dark places, though....emphasis on 'find' :)

Jay Narain

Date: 10/12/2023 10:34:00 AM

Hello Hiya, you listened to my requests of writing short and simple language poems. To me the present poem is a masterpiece. Thanks.

Christina Bowring

Date: 10/12/2023 9:45:00 AM

Such a beautiful, descriptive verse dear Hiya with a very dramatic, profound ending. Great alliterations and imagery as always. Keep shining and believing. Hugs to you. Xx :):)

Tom Woody

Date: 10/12/2023 8:23:00 AM

Oh gosh wasn't expecting that last line. I guess this time of year alot of dark poems are written. Hope all is well dear Hiya

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 10/12/2023 6:58:00 AM

- Even in death you bring beauty, Hiya :) - hugs

Vijay Pandit

Date: 10/12/2023 6:22:00 AM

Wonderfully metaphoric depiction, Hiya. Much you say in just a few words. I hear the tenor of melancholy you conveyed, so succinctly.

Victor Buhagiar

Date: 10/12/2023 5:56:00 AM

ebony moonflower. What a flower description leading to death. Excellent verse. Your poems deserve admiration. Blessings.

Karen Jones

Date: 10/12/2023 5:14:00 AM

Beautiful bold alliteration! Ebony moonflowers? Sooo creative. Love how you put this together Hiya!

Ink Empress

Date: 10/12/2023 4:23:00 AM

I am absolutely loving the alliterations and flow of this mini poem where you’ve expressed melancholia so well! I especially love the opening line here “ im sunbird” and “ sketched skyline” “ soaring across soft sheaths” so creative, beautiful imagery and choice of words. “ ebony moonflowers” the kind of words i would like to use too! So good! I love that! “ inhaling gossamer death tonight” darkness can be beautified , and thats what poets do, turn pain into poetRy. And you’ve done just that!

Ink Empress
Date: 10/12/2023 4:23:00 AM

Goodluck for the contest and keep shining