May 17

I imagined you sitting there On your wheelchair Head to one side Watching me water the garden Reaching out to touch the bougainvillea Smiling your crooked smile The water gushed from the hose And from my eyes I miss you Especially today, Your birthday Right on the eve of mine And you aren’t here, Mama You aren’t here. I lost you too soon Too soon, Mama I’m not talking about the day You passed away I’ m talking about growing up Knowing Knowing that illness was eating away Your life Your hope Your dreams Your passion Your joy I grew up seeing the blood The burns The stiches The lopsided smile The hazy eyes I grew up hearing.... The coughing The slurred speech I grew up knowing Knowing... That I’m losing you I remember the afternoon When you looked at me and said, “You’re afraid, afraid I’m going to die, aren’t you?” I heard the catch in your voice And all the fears I’d held back Came gushing out And you held me as we both cried Knowing Knowing….our birthday celebrations together Would be limited Today is your birthday, Mama May 17….tomorrow it’s my birthday May 18…and through it all I remember you And I miss you And I want you to know All the things that are happening in my life But you’re asleep…waiting for the wakeup call To be free of your wheelchair Of your prison Mama, we’ll celebrate life together in heaven! Soon, Mama! It will be soon!