Master Cat Race Rules Of Living
Attention seeking gets rewarded so use anything that works.
Baby humans can be dangerous, especially for tails, ears and whiskers, so watch out!
Cats are masters and rule, everyone else follows, period!
Dogs are great for teasing, blaming, stealing good food from and the lowest species, period!
Eating well is an art so snub dry food and play sickly to get better quality.
Furniture is wonderful for climbing, attacking, napping and removing hair all over.
Going to the vet is NOT fun so PROTEST VIGOROUSLY!
Human hands are designed for petting, rubbing, carrying, and scratching cats.
Investigate EVERYTHING, EVERWHERE, and ALWAYS!
Jumping from various heights without knocking stuff down is a talent, but if something breaks find the nearest human and love them to death!
Keep claws sharp by scratching a variety of materials, furniture, walls, and floor coverings
Leave gifts for humans to help them feel loved-like dead animals; prove amazing hunting skills and keep them in line.
Messy meals and litter boxes aren't allowed but if there's a dog around and something else happens, use the scapegoat ploy(with innocent look thrown in).
Napping 80% of each day is essential for physical and mental health so don't skimp.
Owning humans is an important responsibility; play, snuggle, entertain, keep happy but avoid hissing off at them!
Purring while snuggled and gazing up at humans will delight and make them easier to control but be careful one doesn't become too attached and lose control.
Quiet meows, a sad look, waving a paw while one is on their back playing helpless makes upset humans happier
Remember, don't be nasty for life can get MUCH SHORTER.
Staring out windows while planning on ruling Earth or torturing lesser species is awesome; so practice!
Tongue drooling or hanging out is for dogs or dumb felines; awesome cats tuck it in.
Until further notice: all humans from youngest to oldest, need training to serve the Master Cat race.
Viciousness is forbidden; cats acting so get ranked lower than a puppy...forever.
When choosing napping spots remember, size IS important; where tiniest or biggest humans sleeps IS the perfect place.
Xanthouse is just one color cats appreciate so experiment redecorating the home while exploring.
Yikes, if litter boxes fill up it means new pooping piles must be left elsewhere like planters, closets and bedrooms.
Zits, bug bites, other sores, or just plain dirt- humans lack an adequate tongue and need professional tongue licking help!
Copyright © Kathleen Callaway | Year Posted 2015
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