Manakin (Pt.1) (My Secret Sin)

Instead of being slaughtered by my conscience I'd rather let you treat me how you treat me Make it a lil easier for me to stand again So for now you can label me your personal manakin Ain't no need in me ignoring these voices in my head To apologize and keep pissing I'm in love with guilt and I can't stop kissing Now it all started toward the end of may Maybe even the mid point of June I don't know it was just one of those days They were newly engaged, freshly married Claimed to be there forever To help me through the misery I so longed to carry Doug had just passed and Mike had just gotten off work And until this day I convinced myself That he just used that to be a jerk Well anyways he jumped down my throat Almost one too many times for nothing I chose to walk away four times Until he chose to push me for a fifth and make it into something So like wise I became irritable To the faces of those that others thought were so charitable And perhaps I was wrong to call his wife out of her name After eight years of friendship, such a shame And as usual I became the blame Kicked me out in the middle of the night Being he pushed me and I never responded I never really considered it a fight So Instead of being slaughtered by my conscience I'd rather let you treat me how you treat me Make it a lil easier for me to stand again So for now you can label me your personal manakin