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Mail Order Brides - Let the Buyer Beware

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Ted hunted high and low when trying to find the perfect wife She must be subservient and fit in with his mundane life The Internet looked promising to find a mail order bride, and soon a special lady could be standing by Ted’s side The catalogue was full, brides came in all shapes and sizes, such a variety of colours, each page was filled with huge surprises Ted’s eyes widened when he saw Svetlana’s pretty face She had a gorgeous body and her bits were all in the right place With her long blonde hair and sapphire eyes Ted could be the envy of many other guys Svetlana’s resume said she wanted to marry a foreign man She was determined to escape from her life in Azerbaijan Ted contacted a website and said he’d a pay a hefty fee He wanted to wed Svetlana and he hoped that she’d agree Ted said he’d pay for Svetlana to visit him in the USA And if she was suitable they could choose a wedding day The flight was booked and Ted was getting really excited He spoke to Svetlana on the phone and hoped they’d be united At last the big day came and he went to the arrivals hall Svetlana wasn’t on the flight, oh how Ted’ s face did fall Suddenly Ted heard someone calling out his name It couldn’t be Svetlana as her pic was not the same This lady was enormous and looked like the back end of a cow Poor Ted was in a quandary… just what should he do now Ted went over to her and said there must be some mistake She said no I am Svetlana, sorry that picture was a fake. Ted felt so sorry for her and took her to his home He didn’t want to leave her in the airport on her own They spent some time together and they got on really well She was a fabulous cook and Ted’s waistline soon did swell Svetlana stayed with Ted and eventually they wed Ted is really happy now Svetlana shares his bed! 17th February 2017

Copyright © | Year Posted 2017




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Date: 2/18/2017 9:52:00 AM
Enjoyed the write! Poor Ted was probably in a fright but food and drink cured him of his ill. He bit the bullet and fell in love :)
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Jan Allison
Date: 2/19/2017 2:12:00 PM
I am glad the poem has a happy ending but very different from what 'ted' hoped for:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 2/18/2017 9:05:00 AM
Quite the story. I'm sure there are many that don't end so well.
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Jan Allison
Date: 2/19/2017 2:12:00 PM
I'm sure Richard - I wrote a part 2 based on Arthur's commment:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 2/18/2017 12:04:00 AM
Great write, Jan, like always Hugs Eve
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Jan Allison
Date: 2/18/2017 4:31:00 AM
Thanks Eve:-) Glad you enjoyed my silly thoughts:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 2/17/2017 11:22:00 AM
Ha ha...but all's well that ends well :) I'm glad your ending took this turn, because all along I had this feeling that Svetlana was going to be a male! We get many of these in Malta...some do get married, others work in night spots. Hugs // paul
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Jan Allison
Date: 2/17/2017 11:32:00 AM
I did a follow up poem on the male theme lol Arthur's comment inspired me lol:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 2/17/2017 10:15:00 AM
I just saw James' comment below. I'm thinking of the same song...lol.
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Jan Allison
Date: 2/17/2017 10:38:00 AM
I must google it:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 2/17/2017 10:14:00 AM
How funny, Jan! It reminds me of that song, "If You Want to be Happy for the Rest of Your Life". Love it! Hugs, Rhonda
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Jan Allison
Date: 2/17/2017 10:15:00 AM
Thanks Rhonda:-) I have now written part 2 lol:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 2/17/2017 8:48:00 AM
Jan, your humor is out of the park good but in this poem, the wonderful humor was overshadowed by your caring heart. I loved the ending of this, that is what a real man would do. Maybe nit marry her but definitely not leave her abandoned at an airport in a foreign land. What is also funny, I have a friend who did exactly this except he went to Russia to meet her, just in case, and they fell in love and he married her and what is really funny...her name was Svetlana.
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Jan Allison
Date: 2/17/2017 8:53:00 AM
Wow that is a fascinating story and its great to hear it had a happy ending Chris. I read an article on Russian brides and it is very big business and it inspired the poem- I like the name Svetlana which seemed to go with the theme. Wish I'd had an exotic name like that lol:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 2/17/2017 5:22:00 AM
Iove your poem...Its funny...And put a smile on my face...On the other..these things happen in reality and its very sad.Married men leave a wife and kids for these Bimbos sometimes...Terrible..and On other times these Russian girls have no other way other than sell themselves to strive and survive..What a tragedy.It is so humiliating when a woman is advertised as an object indeed..I did have a laugh with where you went with the story..At least Sven was not a Man :)Ha
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Jan Allison
Date: 2/17/2017 5:26:00 AM
I am amazed what you can 'buy' on the web Charma:-( I wish i had gone with the Sven idea as Arthur's comment made me laugh:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 2/17/2017 4:35:00 AM
At least he married her, I like that he accepted her the way she was, though initially disappointed, Jan:) a 7:)
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Jan Allison
Date: 2/17/2017 5:01:00 AM
Yes the poem has a twist but a happy ending Jo:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 2/17/2017 2:44:00 AM
- I understand that he felt cheated ... but love no one can find on a beautiful photo .... - Everything can be bought ... on website ... a sick world - I bet on "old -fashioned love", Jan :) .... as you will find in my poem: - Belissima Amore - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
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Jan Allison
Date: 2/17/2017 5:02:00 AM
I will drop by Anne Lise:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 2/17/2017 2:39:00 AM
Great poem that made me smile ??
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Jan Allison
Date: 2/17/2017 5:02:00 AM
Thanks Elizabeth:-) hugs jan xx
Date: 2/17/2017 12:43:00 AM
Reminds me of that old song "if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life just make an ugly woman your wife". Ugly sure seem to know how to rattle them pots and pans...
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Jan Allison
Date: 2/17/2017 5:03:00 AM
I've never heard that before Charlie!:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 2/16/2017 11:16:00 PM
A fun and happy couplet with terrific detail, I smiled at the name 'Svetlanda', it so suits the photo.:-) blessings, lynn
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Jan Allison
Date: 2/17/2017 5:09:00 AM
There are many 'Russian' brides out there I read an article and its very big business ... looks like there is nothing you can't buy on the web if you have the money:-( hugs Jan xx
Date: 2/16/2017 10:24:00 PM
LOL at least Svetlana wasn't really Sven! Loved this!
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Jan Allison
Date: 2/17/2017 9:42:00 AM
Thanks for the inspiration - have written part 2 now lol:-) hugs Jan xx
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Jan Allison
Date: 2/17/2017 5:10:00 AM
ha ha ha that would have been hilarious ... wish I'd thought of it for the poem:-( hugs jan xx
Date: 2/16/2017 9:57:00 PM
Fun poem, Jan - I am glad you gave it a happy ending. I think the reality is not always so kind.
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Jan Allison
Date: 2/17/2017 5:12:00 AM
I think people get scammed Agnes and it costs them a great deal and that's not just financially but emotionally too:-(Some just want a meal ticket and a visa and then dump the poor guy:-( hugs Jan xx
Date: 2/16/2017 8:23:00 PM
Looks are only skin deep. Fun poem. Does that stuff really happen?
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Jan Allison
Date: 2/17/2017 5:12:00 AM
Mail order brides are for real I am not sure if this scenario ever happened though:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 2/16/2017 7:29:00 PM
hhahaha. The liar ended up living the good life!! I sure like how you ended it , Jan!!
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Jan Allison
Date: 2/17/2017 5:15:00 AM
I had fun with this I started the poem in the morning and took time to write it as I was busy in the day but it was worth the effort lol:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 2/16/2017 6:43:00 PM
This is good Jan...It is a big industry used mainly by egomaniacs who true colours shine when on a date. A fav
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Jan Allison
Date: 2/16/2017 6:46:00 PM
So true Tim - I wonder if they come with a money back guarantee if you are not completely satisfied lol lol:-) hugs jan xx
Date: 2/16/2017 6:39:00 PM
What some men will do boggles my mind...
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Jan Allison
Date: 2/16/2017 6:44:00 PM
It's quite amazing what you can actually buy on the web Frederic!:-( hugs Jan xxx

Book: Shattered Sighs