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Ted hunted high and low when trying to find the perfect wife She must be subservient and fit in with his mundane life The Internet looked promising to find a mail order bride, and soon a special lady could be standing by Ted’s side The catalogue was full, brides came in all shapes and sizes, such a variety of colours, each page was filled with huge surprises Ted’s eyes widened when he saw Svetlana’s pretty face She had a gorgeous body and her bits were all in the right place With her long blonde hair and sapphire eyes Ted could be the envy of many other guys Svetlana’s resume said she wanted to marry a foreign man She was determined to escape from her life in Azerbaijan Ted contacted a website and said he’d a pay a hefty fee He wanted to wed Svetlana and he hoped that she’d agree Ted said he’d pay for Svetlana to visit him in the USA And if she was suitable they could choose a wedding day The flight was booked and Ted was getting really excited He spoke to Svetlana on the phone and hoped they’d be united At last the big day came and he went to the arrivals hall Svetlana wasn’t on the flight, oh how Ted’ s face did fall Suddenly Ted heard someone calling out his name It couldn’t be Svetlana as her pic was not the same This lady was enormous and looked like the back end of a cow Poor Ted was in a quandary… just what should he do now Ted went over to her and said there must be some mistake She said no I am Svetlana, sorry that picture was a fake. Ted felt so sorry for her and took her to his home He didn’t want to leave her in the airport on her own They spent some time together and they got on really well She was a fabulous cook and Ted’s waistline soon did swell Svetlana stayed with Ted and eventually they wed Ted is really happy now Svetlana shares his bed! 17th February 2017
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