lunchroom thoughts

where did all of the friendly faces go? the people i was just gossiping to in my math class? the people who i've stayed up all night talking to? the people that i would trust if my life depended on it? i guess they're gone. their tables full of girls who look exactly the same. high pitched laughter at some stupid joke no one cares about. and here i am. standing in the middle of the lunchroom. i just wanted to eat my food. i walk over to an empty table and set down my tray. my eyes scan over the rows and rows of people. twenty minutes ago, i was doubled over laughing with them. now i can barely manage a smile. i can feel their eyes on my back. i can feel their fake-pitied whispers. they must really feel bad for me, huh? well here i am. standing in the middle of the lunchroom. i just wanted to eat my food. my food is cold now. my phone is almost dead. my head hurts. i just want to go home. it hurts when all you want is to fit in. it hurts when the people you've known for years ignore you. and god, it hurts when what should be the best part of your day turns into this. i'm not even hungry anymore. but here i am. standing in the middle of the lunchroom. when all i ever wanted was a friend.