Ludicrous Moments

I reckon most folks have ludicrous events in their lives to bear. During my four-score years, Lord knows I've had my share! Some left my dear long-suffering spouse (and me) somewhat sore, But we laugh about them now since they've become our family lore! In my younger years I worked as a janitor vacuuming floors and such. Once, the vacuum hose got stuck - I jerked it with a not so gentle touch! As quick as a spitting cobra the hose struck me square on the snout! It bloodied my nose, caused my head to spin and nearly knocked me out! Once, my wife was leaning over the car trunk getting something out. Innocently, I turned the radio on raising the aerial causing her to shout! That lustful antenna was creeping up her blouse in a very delicate area, Causing her to cry out at me in a state of near extreme hysteria! At the baggage carousel I snatched a bag that looked the same as mine. I try to be ever mindful and careful of my good name never to malign, But when I unpacked at home I discovered a bag of ladies intimate wear! I tried to explain this turn of events under my spouse's baleful glare! There was the time I was up a ladder when on the ground I spied a snake! Discretion won out over bravery - I asked my wife to slay it with a rake! Did I scale the ladder before or after seeing the snake is ever a question That my wife ponders to this day tho' I'll never make a true confession! Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired © All Rights Reserved