Loved?

Sometimes I feel like I’m all caged in by bars tempered with my own tears. Sometimes I hear these tapes playing and wonder why they seem to drown out everything else when they’re only in my head. Sometimes I feel like I’m all alone in a crowd of friends though I know it’s a self-imposed exclusion seclusion. Sometimes I see my fear in front of me tangible, like a scepter a ghost of who I don’t want to be. Sometimes I feel like nothing short of my own love (a miracle) can take me away from this pain. Sometimes I reach out and pull close anything and everything that makes me feel good – no matter how harmful – yet I am never satisfied. Sometimes I feel like you are here only to tease me with something I can never have or ever be: truly loved.