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Love Was Never There

BEFORE READING: Please note that this lyric has some mature content that some readers might find disturbing. Also read the side-note at the end of the poem before commenting... My youngest memories was when I was eight. Daddy would tuck me in on nights so late. Gave me a surprise after every story. Left the room and whispered he was sorry. He said it was our little secret, no need to tell a soul. He said at night his love was lit and he was in control. Said I was beautiful as my tears slowly streamed... So much love to give it isn't fair to keep it all to yourself. I guess it was just the demons in you, but love was never there I barely stood four feet off the ground as you said darling don't make a sound. I was too young to understand, what made daddy feel like a man. Hearing footsteps in the hallway, I pretended I was asleep. Hid my face, and then hear you say, "This will all just be a dream." Said I was beautiful as my tears slowly streamed... So much love to give it isn't fair to keep it all to yourself. I guess it was just the demons in you, but love was never there. Wish I could believe you when you said you cared. My heart was on my sleeve and I kept it in all these years. But love was never there. Heart turned black as coal, when the demons took your soul. This is your choice to choose. It was your own flesh you abused. Made me believe this was special, but a quick pleasure was your goal. Took advantage of me, now I'm older and finally see. Images haunt me to this day. Therapy don't make it wash away. Wish I could believe you when you said you cared. But love was never there. NOTE: I just wanna have you know that is fictional. This has nothing to do with me or anyone I know. I happen to watch a great deal of Law & Order SVU and the stories they tell just get to me. I try to put myself in the shoes of the small child suffering from abuse... I'm sorry if I made anyone uncomfortable by posting this (unfortunately this isn't something out of The Twilight Zone... it's something that really happens).

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Arthur Vaso

Date: 5/25/2013 10:05:00 PM

Hi there This was a beautiful poem, and that's what it is all about. Being able not only to write your thoughts and emotions, but being able to put yourself in the shoes of others. What is more disturbing, would be to not write about things, if you shine a light on evil, it goes away!! Great poem!!!

Timothy Hicks
Date: 5/25/2013 10:36:00 PM

I like your perspective on that! As a writer I feel obligated to not only talk about MY problems... but be concerned about others as well.

Caleah Buil

Date: 5/24/2013 9:46:00 AM

It is extremely sad, but true sadly. I feel for all those kids out there who we don't even know are going through these things. Powerfully written like Richard said.

Timothy Hicks
Date: 5/24/2013 10:42:00 AM

Thanks Caleah! It's a very touchy subject to say the very least...

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 5/24/2013 7:45:00 AM

This one is very powerful it grabs the heart and squeezes. it is a sad reality for many children and the perpetrators cannot be cured. This would be a simply horrible existence.

Timothy Hicks
Date: 5/24/2013 10:41:00 AM

It is an indescribable sadness... I take for granted that I have completely un-abusive parents... not realizing that many don't even have the luxury.

Eileen Manassian

Date: 5/24/2013 2:22:00 AM

Oh....how painful to even read this....the reality of many kids. :( Life can be cruel. How can they understand the love of a heavenly Father when they have been abused by an earthy one. The scars will never go away. This is an amazing write, Timothy...someone has to speak out for them...BTW...Please check the 3rd line in the sixth stanza...that should read I instead of you! Returning the favor! ;)

Timothy Hicks
Date: 5/24/2013 10:40:00 AM

Thanks... I fixed the problem! Observant proofreader you ;) I was very skeptical about posting this one... who knows, maybe someone on the site HAS been abused, and this might just bring up painful memories... I just hope I wrote it in a senstive-enough without being too graphic...