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Love Little No More

You said to me
"I want to be buried here
Under that little citrus tree..."
You smiled, decidedly
I looked at you perplexed
This was after your disdainful speech to me

I imagine queuing in the quiet, mournful strings
As a dim light illuminates your broken frame
You are sitting alone in the dark, 
Eyes glittering with secret pains
And when your mouth opened to speak
A French horn sounded
To fulfill your rich meaning 

I never could bring myself to write about you
Till today
I never could bring myself to love you
Till today
Rather, I had loved you so little... I fear,
And I cannot bring myself to words
Only to shared tears,
An incorrigible witness to your tragic play
I could contribute no sound to this production
I was the silence in between loud genius

You drive the world crazy with your wiles
Begging to be accepted, 
Longing to be acknowledged
You claim you give all that you are 
And that no one sees your efforts
As you shrivel with indignation
I cannot bear to hate you
In your broken state
I honor your pain
Like I honor love 

I know you have done wrong
It is written all over your face
That guilty sound in your soul
Wavers in your vocal chords
Like water waiting to chill 
Like ice rendering to crack

I know how it feels 
To walk like death himself
To be a wandering spirit that few can understand
I know how it feels to be overlooked
To crash upon the cold surface of indifference
To not understand why you were ever born 
But I also know
That you and I
Both know these answers 
When one like us, in agony,
Asks for help 

I could see the day you were born 
In my mind's eye
Under that tall pine in the distance 
I could see your cocoa skin
And your dark brown eyes wettened from birth
Your mouth open wide to taste life 
Crying to the skies
As God granted you entry into mankind

God meant us to love you
To bring smiles to your worn face
God meant us to love you
Just as God meant for you to endure
Just as God means for us to live

And I could love little no more
My tears welling in my realized eyes
The moment you sounded 
In your dark, surrounding orchestra
The moment your heart was open
I saw a purity once unseen
Love grew from dim to bright 
Not some dim hue against a darkened room,
But bright like fire lighting up the forgiving skies

And that little citrus tree,
Standing alone in the ground 
On this lonesome hill
Will one day thrive with many others 
Received with smiles infinite 
Smiles that blot out the agonies of life
Smiles that love truly and completely

Jan 9th 2018

Copyright © | Year Posted 2019

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Date: 1/12/2019 11:39:00 AM
Wow Laura, so deeply personal... And it was like I was there, you being upset with this person who has wronged you..I think many will relate to this, as betrayal can feel like standing alone on top of a hill..
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