Loud quiet
I am wildly conscious of the fact
I don’t know how to speak up anymore.
I feel like I’m yelling and no one can
Hear me
I was told to shut up, then told to
Speak up
I enunciate so much, maybe it’ll be enough.
I’ll repeat myself like I can’t hear the voices of those
Who convinced me
I was always going to be too much.
I can hear every sentence at once
I can see them behind you
I can feel every breath, a condensation down my throat
A condemnation of a pond and I am the boat.
I promise I’m trying, opening my mouth
There’s air coming out, but I can’t hear anything
Over the people fighting over the volume of my voice
Strike a cord with my cords,
I didn’t think they needed tuning.
I’ll repeat myself like I can’t hear their voices
and if I speak in lowercase, maybe they’ll think
I’m less than too much.
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