Lost In the Sticks
I got lost out in the sticks
and ended up on Deliverance St.
in a place called Hillbilly Haven,
where legend has it that
people who live there are still
backwards and have pet ravens,
and to make things worse
I was about to have a sorry fit,
because I got a flat tire and
also ended up in a dirt ditch,
and not having my cell phone
and needing some help, decided
on this rural road better start roaming,
heard a banjo playing nearby
so in that direction I thought I'd go,
came to a cabin where a barefooted
banjo player stopped playing and
spit out his chewing tobacco,
"I said hi I have a flat tire
can you please help me?"
He looked at me all mean
and with his toothless mouth said "NO!"
and added "you get outta hea!"
and before I knew it he had
a shotgun and shot it into the air,
then he opened up his front door
and let his hound dog out,
he said "sick em Daisy May!"
well just like Fay Wray in King
Kong I let out a scream and a shout,
and ended up being chased
through a cornfield which was a maze,
the hound dog running closer in
pursuit of my running heels,
I thought to myself I feel
like I'm in some southern
horror movie this is absolutely surreal!
Then I finally came out of
the cornfield and ran up
to another home,
where a woman who looked
like Ma Kettle threw the
hound dog a bone,
she started laughing and said
looks like Jeds at it again,
gave me a smile and even
offered me some of her cornbread,
I said no please can I just use
your phone,
she said of course and pointed
to it which was on the wall,
to make a long story short
my sons came out after making
the desperate call,
and when they fixed my flat
then my engine even stalled,
so leaving my car behind we all
piled into my sons little ford focus,
and drove past the sign which
said "No Trespassers!"
which apparently I hadn't noticed!
Copyright © Cheryl Hoffman | Year Posted 2016
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