Lost

I feel the thunder growing in my heart. I hear the low rumbling growl which brings the promise of turbulent times and I see only blackness. A blanket of darkness devours me, consumes me, my heart, my soul, my body and my mind. I am but an empty shell, a carcass of nothingness. I remember a time where a smile was natural not a mask to hide the true me. It's so far away in my memory it's just a faint shimmer now, barely alive in the chaos of life. I try to recall happiness that was real without the chains of guilt or fear but the memory is too far away and I cannot reach it. I once believed I had found it but it was only the dwindling light of hope which perished and became engulfed in the blackness that surrounds me. I exist but I am no longer living. My world belongs to the nothingness and my eyes are blind. I feel only fear, pain and heartache, I feel isolated and alone. No one is there to guide me through the dark and take me back to the light, no one can help me escape this chasm of doom. I am locked in a nightmare that is infinite and relentless. I want to wake up again. I want to be free. I want to be me again. Then perhaps this has always been me and my distant memories are but sweet dreams. Perhaps they were never real just lies made up by a troubled mind. So I go on, a rotting carcass barely existing in the nothingness and darkness of life.