Lonely.!

Only if I was not a loner, Only if I was not afraid, Could I execute these memories of existance, And sit back and watch these memories fade. Only if I knew myself, Only if I had no fears, Could I sit here and let pain take over my body, And the numbness of my sorrow clean up my mind and kill all of the tears. What do you do when you feel you have nobody? What do you do when you feel insane? Where can you go when your mindset wanders, And the feeling of joy has not been the same? It's just a delight when you feel that your happiness, Sadly comes along with somebody elses grief, It's just a madness that your only happiness comes when you put your own soul through misery. I understand that this place is not for me. I understand that my kind does not fit in. I understand that I am only one of a kind and that my kind, in this world, could never win. I scream. I yell. I fight. I run. I try to get the hell out of this place. But it only seems to me that I am loosing yet another race. Everytime I get close. Or atleast come to believe that I am free, This finish line for death is replaced with everlasting harmonizing agony. Oh so you say that I am crazy. Oh so you say that I am lame. Dead in this zone, floating on these sheets, My victory has now came.