Locks of Love

As each lock of my hair Fell loose to ground in despair And from behind my mirror Crawled out a picture of terror Away, I turned my face in fear With a scream inside loud and clear The cry of every churning pill Reminded me I am very ill. I know not a place to elope These ticking moments give no hope. This pain is mine to bear Till my path gets any clear. Every morn my insides run out Blood fills my nose till I pass out One fine Monday morning it was When I fell to this test I couldn’t pass Miserable three months have passed But it feels like no time has elapsed One moment I was fine and perfect And next, nothing but imperfect Throat dries up, head spins Hiding something the fate grins It tells me to let go, to end it all But I say no, I won’t let myself fall Every moment is a hard journey Every step in this desert is hot agony Despite the odds I wait for the rain To come and relieve me of my pain Because I had once let a drizzle fall And held strong someone ready to fall I had let my beautiful hair To be chopped off for someone in despair Cancer- it was eating her alive I could see her trying hard to thrive Nothing had I to give up for her No money, no life, just some hair Chemo took up her lovely curls, while I gave up mine with a smile Not a big deed, not a rain A drizzle in her desert of pain Years have passed, she is gone But the killer who took her is not yet done Hath come back for me now Stronger, worse, I know not how Eyebrows, eyelashes, every strand of them Fall around; Grief fills me to the brim I know not how long to go Or if this desert path leads to inferno But just like my breath, I keep walking Holding onto the meds I keep taking Yet not so far I see it Whole lot of clouds, not just a bit Dark, heavy and swift as wind Never have I seen anything this kind Maybe today is the day When I get to forget yesterday The drizzle here now I see And finally I do not want to flee It grows louder to a storm howling Till in the flooding desert it left me drowning