Locked Out

My wife was in the hospital with a condition rather severe,
Her mother came to care for our son so I could visit her there.
After several days and a few long nights I suddenly needed a break
And headed home late one night for a dip in the hot tub to take.

We live in the Pacific Northwest so you know it was rainy and wet,
But with the hot tub being outside it hasn’t stopped me yet.
I didn’t want the towel to get soaked so I hung it over the chair,
And tiptoed across the deck completely and utterly bare.

Now, our back door locks with a bolt or by the handle on the door;
My wife and I only use the bolt and never used the handle before.
I forgot there was a stranger in the house who didn’t know our usual ways,
So I guess telling you I was locked outside is something I don't need to say.

The guest room is in front and she didn’t hear me from the back;
Around the house I had to trek so on her window I could tap.
Our backyard is very private so skinny dipping is our usual norm
The front of the house, not so much, a bathrobe I wished I had worn.

My mother-in-law got quite the sight when she opened the door
I don’t think we have to worry about her visiting us any more
My wife is now fine and back at home recovering oh so well
And about three thousand times a day this story she likes to tell.



True story that just happened about 2 months ago.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2010

Poem

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Brown Avatar
June 21, 2010 at 7:35 AM
Congratulations on your win in Paula Swanson's contest "The Light Is On, But Nobody Is Home" Joe. Love, Carol
Belt Avatar
June 14, 2010 at 7:07 AM
Congrats on your win.....Great Write ...Larry
Murphy Avatar
June 14, 2010 at 7:07 AM
congrats on your win very funny great story enjoyed faleshia
Green Avatar
June 14, 2010 at 3:03 AM
Oh you poor thing! Great write, Congrats on your win!
Sweetheart Avatar
June 13, 2010 at 9:23 PM
Congrats Joe on your 2nd place win in Paula's contest with this fantastic write ..another great win to enjoy my friend... with luv from the "Sweetheart"
Harrison Avatar
June 13, 2010 at 8:58 PM
Oh my! This is a scream. What a sight for you mother-in-law! Too funny!
K. Avatar
June 13, 2010 at 8:37 PM
haha, what a major shocker for your mother-in-law--;) happy to know that your wife is recovering well :) congrats on your win with this, Joe :)--nikko :)
Richards Avatar
June 13, 2010 at 8:32 PM
You are lucky you didn't put your mother-in-law in the hospital from shock!!! So funny!!
Mehta Avatar
June 13, 2010 at 8:14 PM
Congrats on the 2nd place win, Joe
Johnson Avatar
June 13, 2010 at 8:10 PM
But is your mother-in-law laughing? Very funny, Joe. Congratulations on your win. Love, joyce
Moribund Avatar
June 9, 2010 at 11:03 AM
Dear Joe: Great poem, Well done!!! Glad 2 know that your wife is feeling better. I am sure that in time your mother-in-law will get over the fact that you gave her the full monty. Peace: Sheol
Kendrick Avatar
June 9, 2010 at 5:41 AM
Well, I am sorry that your wife was ill and glad that she is well and back home...I bet that was an experience for all concerned...I am glad that your wife has a sense of humor about the situation..Great write...well done..Keep the creative pen flowing ...Sara
Gorelick Avatar
June 8, 2010 at 3:48 PM
Funny one..Of course you mother in law had never seen an bare butt before..lol..lol. tooo Funny BG
Mehta Avatar
June 8, 2010 at 8:37 AM
I enjoyed your humor in the poem
A  Avatar
June 8, 2010 at 8:15 AM
LOL, FUNNY STORY. " A BATHROBE I WISHED I HAD WON" -IRMA
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