Living in the past

I sit and I wait Wait for your return Have I done enough My tummy starts to turn I don’t know when it will happen or why I want to stay but here is all I’ve wanted, since I’ve been away. I look for my home, but home is in the past. Now everything is broken,gone and I’m the last. I don’t know what I want, where I’m meant to be What I want from life, young me I am truly sorry. I’m so desperate to find my world but strictly clinging on To toxic relationships that I know have gone all wrong But the past is what I want, where I once felt me A decade on and I just cannot feel free I’ll continue the cycle until I’m unstuck and happy I know why I go back, to feel truly loved Controlled, told what to do, just for that one hug That feeling of safety when I was once a child Where waking up and living life, was all and enough