Light Verse and Nonsense Verse Vi

LIGHT VERSE AND NONSENSE VERSE VI On the Horns of a Dilemma (I) by Michael R. Burch Love has become preposterous for the over-endowed rhinoceros: when he meets the right miss how the hell can he kiss when his horn deforms her esophagus? On the Horns of a Dilemma (II) by Michael R. Burch Love has become preposterous for the over-endowed rhinoceros: when he meets the right miss how the hell can he kiss when his horn is so horny it lofts her thus? On the Horns of a Dilemma (III) by Michael R. Burch A wino rhino said, “I know! I have a horn I cannot blow! And so, ergo, I’ll watch the lovely spigot flow! The Horns of a Dilemma Solved, if not Solvent by Michael R. Burch A wine-addled rhino debated the prospect of living unmated due to the cruel scorn gals showed for his horn, but then lost it to poachers, sedated. A Possible Explanation for the Madness of March Hares by Michael R. Burch March hares, beware! Spring’s a tease, a flirt! This is yet another late freeze alert. Better comfort your babies; the weather has rabies. Voice of (T)reason by Michael R. Burch Love is the highest, the greatest, the grandest! Love has us all and our lovers in thrall! Love, but don’t fall. Love is the coolest, the truest, the Yule-est! Love is sage Andrew’s Marvell-ous ball! Love, but don’t fall. Love is the sweetest, the deepest, the fleetest! Yes, that’s the problem – a pall over all. Love, but don’t fall. Final Ballad of the Unhappy Camper by Michael R. Burch I’m low on ****, lost my fizz, out of biz. Flabby and horny, morose and mourny, gals’re scorny. Friggin’ Low T Hell! Unable to swell! "More sleep"? Do tell! Less Heroic Couplets: Weird Beard by Michael R. Burch for and after Richard Thomas Moore C’mon, admit—love’s truly weird: why does a vag-na need a beard? Should making love produce foul poxes? What can we make of such paradoxes? And having made love, what's the point of ending up with a sore, limp joint? Who invented love, which we all pursue like rats in a maze after sniffing glue? This is my randy version of a classic limerick. An incestuous physicist, Bright, made love at speeds faster than light. She had sex one day in her relative way, then came on the previous night! There was a young **** star of Ghent whose get-up just got up and went. Too sleepy for sex, her fans became ex- subscribers, and no checks were sent. —Michael R. Burch Keywords/Tags: light verse, humor, humorous verse, nonsense verse, funny