Letter To Mama

Dear Mama I'm older now and so much has changed I miss you don't get me wrong but I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place and I can't even tell you to your face so I'm writing because my cowardliness has forbidden me to speak like my lips have been locked shut and somehow I lost the key and my mind is overflowing so please don't hate me I'm trying to balance my reality and form a friendship without hurting your feelings and I know I sound insane I get it, you don't think it's that deep but you don't see what I see we haven't imagined the same future for me you're so stuck on what you think is for me that you're to blinded to witness that I'm suffering Mama I'm suffering Dear Mama thanks for keeping in touch thanks for all the over-text lessons but I'm good I don't need a schooling session I have teachers I have counselors I have coaches For God sake I have a mom who puts me in the right direction you missed your chance years ago So you need to hear this let me go I'm only hanging on by a thread yet you still dangle from my leg WHY? because when it snaps we're both dead Can't you see that I'm not just gonna hop up and leave when I turn 18 classified as a runaway and for what? so you can just go back to you old ways Can't you see that you've broken me caused my head to spin uncontrollably I want to please you but I want to be happy Can't you see that I'm suffering mama I'm suffering Dear Mama I realized that I really don't know you we had visits and sleepovers I was a kid, you were all I knew But I'm older now and so much has changed I don't see things the same way I've found somewhere else where I feel safe I hope you will understand one day I want you to be in my life when I graduate have kids and heck when I'm a bride and yes I'll still take your advice but Don't turn advice into teachings I hope now you can see my reality and your heart isn't broken into a million pieces just know I'm always here to be your friend and if you never want to talk again I understand but you see that would just add on to why I'm suffering mama I'm suffering Dear Mama It's time to say goodbye to that title Dear Renisha I love you always -Angel Note* (I have two moms) I call my biological mother "Mama" and my adoptive mother "Mom"