Lemming

I never felt I was a fool, always quick to sniff out a scam or pick out a problematic part of an argument during a debate I never considered myself a conformist a fan of music, shows, and movies that were twenty or more years out of date Wearing whatever I wished even though it wasn’t in fashion I had a passion for anything that was different from what everyone else was doing never comfortable following the crowd Leaving the lemmings to leap off their cliffs as I made my own way forged my own path, though it was a lonely and loveless journey with no footsteps to follow, no way to know which direction to go Now I look back on those days in dismay the truth finally dawning on me far too late I was never really the rebel I believed myself to be They would laugh as they told me I was safe to walk alone at night for I had no reason to fear being raped because I was too ugly I could never become a star of stage and screen That was all a pipe dream for my teeth weren’t quite straight I was somewhat overweight (though I barely ate) my shoulders too broad, my hips too wide my skin too pale, my hair fine and thin I’d never be allowed in the door to audition a single glance and they'd send me away unless they were searching for someone to play the part of a dog I was destined to fail if I dared to try Even my mother would say such things so it had to be true If everyone tells you your house is on fire logic would say it’s unlikely they’re lying to you Every morning when I examined myself in the mirror my mind would repeat every word that they'd said back to me inside my head but in my own voice Trashing me was the in thing to do so I did it too Where would I be today if I’d heard anyone say “I believe in you”