Left

Left. Plans left unfinished Give too much say too much Words filled with meaning Maybe too much Maybe too heavy Maybe too repetitive Spilled Scattered And washed like rainwater down dirty streets Good intentions mixing with dirt and trash Stepped over, walked through Acknowledged but soon forgotten Visions and hopes and awakening trust Dropped Water unable to be picked up once spilled, Running and rolling and weaving and moving Until all that is left is a small trickle A faint waterline A tear streak down the face That doesn’t do justice To the visceral source of unearthed emotion from which it came Spills happen. We know this. I know this. And chances of spilling are more likely when the bucket becomes heavier Becomes deeper And I continue to pour Me Into the flimsy container I gave you to hold. Now I am left with no water. No tears left to cry. I am left with searing sting of a heart that previously only ached from growing pains From learning to love and care and open up and give Speak Share Communicate To relearning how to be Left feeling alone. I want you to miss me and I want you to hurt Because what I feel I wanted shared with you And these are the only emotions I have left To give. I watched what was going right Go left When I thought we were headed in the same direction I am left with a pain that pulses with every heartbeat Through my chest and down my arms Up my neck and seizing my mind In consuming thoughts of the tradeoff of love and happiness Intertwined fingers and shared laughter Soft lips on necks and a chest to lie on, ear to heart In exchange for it being a gamble A game Where many are left Empty handed. More broke than before they played. I am left now Soaked in spilled water That looks the same as any To most anyone else But was what I gave to you When it was all I had to give. Left shivering and unsure just how Or why All I have left now of us is me.