Late Night Conversations

Act 1: Venting As above so below, so, where are you God Because right now all I see is these bills piling up My stress is piling up atop embers of anger My patience is about as thin as a piece of paper, and I just got cut As above so below, so, where are you God Because it feels like I see you as much as my tears that I don’t allow to fall Then within the time lightning strikes I have a moment of clarity He never left me I just chose to look at everything to the left As if I could ever have a better plan than the 66 letters he left My ways are lies of comfortability I listen to so that I can ignore the voice I hear calling me outside the box and closer to the thunder Then November 9th, 2022, the tears became rain They say real men don’t cry but Jesus wept so, who am I to crown my pride as if it shines His tears washed my sins, so I know progress needs the reflection of window pain Along with water sained cheeks for the soul to bloom He responds: I still love you Act 2: Confessions I often confuse my pride for the sun and then comes the fall and I’m not one for heights I’m still learning humility doesn’t have the view of a high horse Dying to self is different from suicide, it’s more of taking the shackles off my feet so I can dance But if I can’t dance in the spirit high off life, I’m low Dear rose you are not alone Lord, I don’t want depression to remain an idol, leaving me idle without the gold American idols are dead and dressed up in green Life isn’t the game show we treat it as, its spiritual warfare There’s a conflict inside my head, Lord help me to remember that the physical war is a result from the spiritual Death is a curse born from sin but raised by internal bleeding that wouldn’t cry for another 33 years Lord, I don’t want my selfishness to kill me before I get closer to version of myself you see He responds: I still love you Act 3: Praise I know my obedience doesn’t always show it, but I love you too Thank you for allowing me to have an infinity of take two’s Hallelujah, that a pure and righteous God would touch my dirty rags just to see me be closer to Him, His patience, and His love surround me so much so that if I just fall nothing would ever harm me If I just fall the fruit would fall, His spirit will defend me So, I fall with faith to my knees and pray through the good just as much as the bad Why is it so hard to fall, even though I hesitate to jump I will still sing Jesus p.s. help me not to question where you are but where I am with you…