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Act 1: Venting

As above so below, so, where are you God
Because right now all I see is these bills piling up
My stress is piling up atop embers of anger 
My patience is about as thin as a piece of paper, and I just got cut
As above so below, so, where are you God
Because it feels like I see you as much as my tears that I don’t allow to fall
Then within the time lightning strikes I have a moment of clarity 
He never left me I just chose to look at everything to the left
As if I could ever have a better plan than the 66 letters he left
My ways are lies of comfortability I listen to so that I can ignore the voice I hear calling me outside the box and closer to the thunder
Then November 9th, 2022, the tears became rain
They say real men don’t cry but Jesus wept so, who am I to crown my pride as if it shines
His tears washed my sins, so I know progress needs the reflection of window pain 
Along with water sained cheeks for the soul to bloom
He responds: I still love you

Act 2: Confessions

I often confuse my pride for the sun and then comes the fall and I’m not one for heights
I’m still learning humility doesn’t have the view of a high horse
Dying to self is different from suicide, it’s more of taking the shackles off my feet so I can dance
But if I can’t dance in the spirit high off life, I’m low 
Dear rose you are not alone
Lord, I don’t want depression to remain an idol, leaving me idle without the gold
American idols are dead and dressed up in green
Life isn’t the game show we treat it as, its spiritual warfare
There’s a conflict inside my head, Lord help me to remember that the physical war is a result from the spiritual
Death is a curse born from sin but raised by internal bleeding that wouldn’t cry for another 33 years
Lord, I don’t want my selfishness to kill me before I get closer to version of myself you see
He responds: I still love you

Act 3: Praise 

I know my obedience doesn’t always show it, but I love you too
Thank you for allowing me to have an infinity of take two’s 
Hallelujah, that a pure and righteous God would touch my dirty rags just to see me be closer to 
Him, His patience, and His love surround me so much so that if I just fall nothing would ever harm me
If I just fall the fruit would fall, His spirit will defend me 
So, I fall with faith to my knees and pray through the good just as much as the bad
Why is it so hard to fall, even though I hesitate to jump I will still sing Jesus

p.s. help me not to question where you are but where I am with you…
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