Last Journal Entry- My Gay Friend, Paul

Slowly drifting, drifting away, and it feel likes I’m drowning.
I'm drowning, my eyes are drowning every time they surf into the world of pleasure, 
Seas and seas of bodies creating electricity  yet God hasn’t struck me for such sin,
Come closer, Come closer, I freeze as I lose my soul to the enemy, the screen, the bodies I’ve never touched, 
This encounter leaves me feeling so ashamed and afraid. 
What if they know?
Would they think I’ve changed my nationality?
Would they now think I live in a country of red ,orange, yellow, green, blue, violet.
Heal me, but every time I receive the baptism, I progress into a another stage of sickness,
I envision myself, my body, that I see in such high regard, hanging highly from the ropes of betrayal,
They made me thought that it was okay
Is that you last words? God looked at me as he was ready to pass his judgement. 
Yes father,
And my body transformed into the place I belong,
A sea of fire,
And this time I wasn’t sure how to swim, and as I take my last breath and reminisce, I realized I've been here all along, it didn’t burn this bad, maybe because the world leaves you to believe that you have a thick skin and no heart. 
I was born sick, I don’t love it, command me to be well.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2016


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Date: 12/28/2016 6:27:00 AM
A very powerful piece of poetry, Zaire...I am most impressed! My regards...And all the very best for your New Year. :) john
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Zaire Mendez
Date: 12/28/2016 7:26:00 PM
Thank You! All the best as well
Date: 11/14/2016 3:09:00 PM
Very intense poem, Zaire. I feel the anguish and the compulsive desires you so eloquently expressed. I've known the sexual sins and have been thoroughly cleansed by the blood of He who knew no sin. Most people think of homosexuality as a more depraved sin, but in reality, all sin in the eyes of God are the same w/no degree of variance. Man place degrees of wickedness on sin. Loved this honest poem. It is gut wrenching but truthfully penned. Love and peace to you. RW (Romantic Warrior)
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Zaire Mendez
Date: 11/14/2016 4:45:00 PM
Aww thanks much for your comment :)
Date: 11/12/2016 8:59:00 PM
HI, Zaire. I am not quite sure what to think of this one. Is it a condemnation for being gay? I think some gays born religious might feel this way but it seems a shame to me. Anyway, it's good writing. You have some skills!!
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Zaire Mendez
Date: 11/13/2016 8:04:00 AM
it's not an overall condemnation, however from the perspective I am writing it, this person doesn't feel like being gay is the right thing because as some Christians are thought that being homosexual is a sin..
Date: 11/12/2016 7:25:00 AM
Zaire, hope you become well... Welcome to Poetry soup, I hope you enjoy the community. Here, you will find friendly poets who enjoy supporting one another. I myself, enjoy reading and commenting those who want to be read. The only time I give constructive criticism is when a poet desires it. However, if for some reason the poem is not my field I will guide you to someone who is more qualified than I. Stop by and read one of my poems if you like. My poems are not perfect, but I have a feeling you might like one. I encourage you to check out the contest page and read to receive comments. Tell me a little about your poetic skills if you like. It will be my pleasure to follow and read every poem you post from here on :) We are Lucky To Have you. Your New Poet Friend @-> LINDA <-@
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Zaire Mendez
Date: 11/13/2016 8:04:00 AM
Thank you! :)
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