Lack of Direction

When I had just turned nineteen,
I then caught the travel bug.
The urge to travel the world,
was similar to any drug.

But I lived in a country town;
quite green and very naive,
and the world is a big place
that was hard for me to perceive.

First stop was merry old England, 
and tap into warm English beer,
when visiting small country pubs -
I could do this as a career.

It was in the village Woolston,
imbibing on a local brew.
And after drinking two pints,
I near made a fatal blue.

At least I have recovered.
I no longer eat with a straw,
but it was a lesson I learned,
and one I will never ignore.

Two ladies entered the pub,
who’d really let themselves go.
Weight-watchers is needed by them, 
but I’m not letting them know.

They sat at a table close by.
I'll declare the converse I heard,
was English spoken as such,
I could not understand a word.

Then a sheer misunderstanding, 
from a question I posed to them;
‘are you two Ladies from Ireland?’
that started all of the mayhem.

One snarled at me ‘Wales dumbo!’
And from that was my big mistake.
‘Are you two whales from Ireland?’
From then I’m no longer awake.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2019

Poem

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Schneiter Avatar
February 23, 2020 at 8:02 AM
Hi, Lindsay. Whale, now, this is simply hilarious. What you spouted to those two ladies was a perfect rejoinder. Anyone who tries to match wits with you had better be a good loser. Hugs, Paul
Laurie Avatar
March 2, 2020 at 10:32 PM
G'day Paul … once again, thanks for reading and leaving such a fine positive comment Paul. I appreciate all you comments - thank you - Lindsay
Lamoureux Avatar
January 5, 2020 at 7:01 PM
This was fun, I haven’t heard this one in a few years.
Laurie Avatar
January 6, 2020 at 7:11 PM
Hello Richard … I guess it's joke poetry with a lead in story to side track the reader, but possibly only works with humour. I'm pleased you enjoyed it Richard - Lindsay
Canerdy Avatar
January 3, 2020 at 11:12 PM
You are a great story teller. This is so entertaining and funny. Janice
Laurie Avatar
January 6, 2020 at 7:08 PM
Hello Janice … I'm pleased you got to enjoy this piece of silliness from me Janice. You can easily picture this scene - thanks Janice - Lindsay
Thompson Avatar
January 3, 2020 at 1:40 PM
Brilliant!! As an English guy I can just envisage the scene!! So funny especially the last 2 lines!! FAVE!! Best wishes...Ron :)
Laurie Avatar
January 6, 2020 at 7:06 PM
Hello Ronald … pleased you saw the funny side in this. I worked with a bloke from Bristol for a while. He must have got sick of me asking 'what wad that?' - thank you Ronald - Lindsay
DiMino Avatar
January 2, 2020 at 5:29 AM
Hilarious!! Love it.
Laurie Avatar
January 6, 2020 at 7:03 PM
G'day Joe … I'm pleased you got a giggle out of this yarn - catch you soon Joe - Lindsay
Wolf Avatar
January 1, 2020 at 6:06 PM
When Irish eyes are smiling, Lindsay. Touche! Still laughing. ~ Gershon
Laurie Avatar
January 6, 2020 at 7:01 PM
Hello Gershon … correct, but when they're not, the Guinness can help their cause. It doesn't pay to miscalculate a person's homeland - thanks Gershon - Lindsay
Hinshaw Avatar
January 1, 2020 at 9:20 AM
Thank to you, Lindsay, I awoke to laffter this New Years Day upon reading this and another poem posted by you. Keep 'em comin', Mate. Hope you are not involved in any of the massive fires we hear about on TV. Hunker down! A good New Year on you and yours, Bob H
Laurie Avatar
January 6, 2020 at 6:58 PM
G'day Bob … the bush fires are well east of here but the smoke is like a thick smelly fog. I'm pleased that you enjoy this type of story telling Bob. I trust the festive season was kind to you - Lindsay
Adams Avatar
January 1, 2020 at 8:07 AM
Even though you are known for surprise endings, I fall for them every time! Very funny! Have a good one Lindsay!...............pat
Laurie Avatar
January 6, 2020 at 6:48 PM
G'day Pat … thank you Pat. I'll keep doing my best to keep you in suspense - catch you soon Pat - Lindsay
Adams Avatar
January 1, 2020 at 12:03 AM
lol... the ending made me laugh...great twist in the plot...i never saw it coming... a pleasure to read... Happy New Year... hugs
Laurie Avatar
January 6, 2020 at 6:46 PM
Hello Sandra … pleased you got a giggle out of this. I trust you had a great festive season - Lindsay
Cunningham Avatar
December 31, 2019 at 10:40 PM
Haha you lived to tell the tale.
Laurie Avatar
January 6, 2020 at 6:44 PM
G'day Tom … barely, but learnt a big lesson - thanks again Tom - Lindsay
Leffanta Avatar
December 31, 2019 at 6:13 PM
I think you met my wife, who tried to strangle an Australian Customs official who assumed she was English! Thanks for the laughs! Aloha! Rico
Laurie Avatar
January 6, 2020 at 6:43 PM
G'day Rico … it's amazing isn't it. We speak the same language but can barely understand each other. In this case a misunderstanding could have been fatal - thanks Rico - Lindsay
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