King of the Range

King Of The Range Pinto beans and hot fry bread are his means for survival out on the open range. Herding cattle all day with his quarter horse Saint and his border collie Paintbrush is his way to make loads of silver change. At night when he’s by himself under the bright twinkling stars, he strokes himself while thinking of a nude Jessica Lange. He’s the man to call to kill a mean coiled-up rattlesnake and to fish for a tasty basket of hot catfish, but computers and cell phones to him seem strange. When he goes home, his Mom whips up a pie of fresh lemon meringue. Women sigh as he goes by, unaware that years ago in a gunfight at high noon, his virile manhood lost its twang. But he still tips his ten gallon hat and winks at them as he passes by because he’s King of the range.