Jan Allison Poet Etheree

Notes About The Poem

A new Etheree Poem Any Theme Contest. Sponsored by Tania Kitchin 02/20/25

FICTIONAL POEM FOR CONTEST

 

KILLER ON THE LOOSE

I
abhor
the way that
you’ve silently
stalked me in my house
I have begged you to leave
But you steadfastly refused
I’ve just found you in my bedroom
I’m rooted to the spot in terror
And yell so loudly my son rushes in

 
Help!
I scream.
My son looks
At my white face.
He bravely squares up, 
corners the intruder
then pounces like a cat.
“Gotcha”! He says in triumph
As he captures the small spider
“You are safe to move again now mum”
How I hate being arachnid phobic!

♡Like0

Share Poem

---

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Sara Kendrick March 4, 2025 at 6:57 AM Dropping by to say congratulations on your winning work. So nice to see it in the winners' list. Way to go. I like the set up and then the change in directions. Sara K

Tania Kitchin March 2, 2025 at 5:28 AM Jan, I enjoyed your poem and I dislike spiders too. Congratulations on your first place win. Jan Allison March 2, 2025 at 12:02 PM Thanks so much Tania, I am beyond thrilled with my placement:-) hugs jan xx

Eileen Manassian February 25, 2025 at 6:42 PM You had me there, Jan. Arachnophobia is no laughing matter. I've missed your visits. Hope all is well. Jan Allison March 2, 2025 at 12:01 PM thanks Eileen, yes all is good sweet lady. I think of you often and the fun times when Darren Watson was on the site - how I miss his support and friendship:-) hugs Jan xx

Mrs. Yolanda Nicholsen February 25, 2025 at 1:45 PM This is indeed a totally fun write. Jan Allison March 2, 2025 at 11:59 AM thanks Yolanda:-) hugs Jan xx

Hilda Greenhough February 23, 2025 at 12:14 PM Your ethereal makes an interesting pattern. I'm happy that your son saved you. In my eyes, they are cute, but I realize that cute is crazy. Originality is well penned in your poem. Jan Allison March 2, 2025 at 11:58 AM Thankfully it is pure fiction Hilda:-) hugs Jan xx

Victor Buhagiar February 23, 2025 at 3:19 AM Shall we hang him? Great two Etheree. Hugs. Jan Allison March 2, 2025 at 11:58 AM thanks Victor, he does like hanging from the ceiling I guess:-) hugs Jan xx

Joe Maverick February 22, 2025 at 12:51 PM An arach-nicking poem.' As i'm going.' Wracking Stuff it does sound tough.' Jan Allison March 2, 2025 at 11:57 AM thanks Joe:-) hugs Jan xx

Jerry Brotherton February 21, 2025 at 10:21 AM A fantastic job of building the suspense and then a bit of humor at the surprise ending. Jan Allison March 2, 2025 at 11:57 AM thanks Jerry, i do like a twist at the end of a poem:-) hugs Jan xx

Kim Rodrigues February 21, 2025 at 10:13 AM LOL! Jan Allison March 2, 2025 at 11:56 AM thanks Kim:-) hugs Jan xx

Daniel Henry Rodgers February 21, 2025 at 7:27 AM Dear Jan, This gripped me, your fear, the helplessness, the sheer invasion of space. And then, the relief, the small but mighty victory by your son. It’s raw, real, and I felt every pulse of it. In other words Excellent! Winter Blessings, My Dear Friend, Daniel Jan Allison February 21, 2025 at 7:49 AM Thanks Daniel, thankfully it is just a ficitional poem but my hubby does remove a spider if it wants to share my bath lol. it was fun to build up the suspense and then have an unexpected but happy ending! hugs jan xx

Anne-Lise Andresen February 21, 2025 at 6:59 AM :))) ... a brave rescuer ... - Best wishes in the contest - Have a lovely weekend, Jan :) - hugs Jan Allison February 21, 2025 at 7:06 AM It's pretty much fictional Anne- Lise but hubby does remove them if one is in the bath lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Maurice Rigoler February 20, 2025 at 6:01 PM Good job on this difficult form, Jan. The most dangerous spiders where I live re black Widows, which appear in summer months. Dangerous because they're toxic. / Maurice Jan Allison February 21, 2025 at 7:05 AM Thanks for dropping by Maurice, thankfully I don't think we have any venomous spiders on our little Island and I only get hubby to remove one if it is in the bath as i dont like sharing lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Margaret Foster February 20, 2025 at 5:45 PM Lucky for you, your son was home. Hope it wasn’t a redback. Nice work on the form Jan. Good luck in the contest.. Jan Allison February 20, 2025 at 5:52 PM It's pure fiction Margaret and i dent think we have any venomous spiders on our Island - i couldn't live anywhere that did lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Terry Flood February 20, 2025 at 4:32 PM Ha ha… I’m the ‘spider man’ in our house. I don’t mind having to catch the flaming things… but the spandex suit really chafes! Good luck in the contest, Jan. Jan Allison February 20, 2025 at 4:50 PM ha ha ha you crease me up with your comments Terry! hugs Jan xx

Darlene De Beaulieu February 20, 2025 at 4:29 PM Hello Jan, I also do not lie the spiders. Or other bugs. Hugs/ Darlene/ Darlene De Beaulieu February 21, 2025 at 9:55 AM Hello Jan, I am not a fan of the creepy crawlies either. So I understand how you feel. Hugs. /Darlene/ Jan Allison February 20, 2025 at 4:50 PM I am not a fan of creepy crawlies and i do get my hubby to remove a spider out of the bath lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Lin Lane February 20, 2025 at 3:33 PM you silly chit. lol I'll leave my comment at that!!! Jan Allison February 20, 2025 at 4:49 PM lol Lin, I hope Tania doesn't think my poem is 'chit' lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Oliver Mckeithan February 20, 2025 at 3:00 PM LOL. Good one Jan. Well written and you had me at the end. Jan Allison February 20, 2025 at 3:06 PM Thanks Oliver, i occasionally like to do a poem with a twist in the end:-) hugs jan xx