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Jolted by twilight

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Jolted by Twilight Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Dilly Dally 
11/07/2024

Now aubade has gone and the day has spun its spun A jolt of twilight wakens the nothingness to come No more rises or zeniths no future for the sun only the shocking truth of knowing When life’s done it’s done For death can never be destroyed or undone Hollowed out inside, oblivion’s rotten void Permanence beset with no upside But the twilight jolts again A curve appears across night’s end a qualm of uncertainty, another bend If not the sun If not the son None becomes more than the sum A doubt has arisen through death’s prism I feel… I feel… Damn I feel so close Just like in life… I’m somewhere… almost!

Copyright © | Year Posted 2024




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Date: 11/10/2024 11:34:00 AM
Even before I absorbed the content of this poem I was drawn in by the repetition, I can't explain at all - maybe some tribal rhythm that resonated or the memory of a dream. What am I given here, the end & the end? It's not the end - ahh it's a trick just when the credits are rolling, so dastardly I forgot the plot and have to start again. I loved the movement through this poem. I must practice making that final breath last one more second. Thank you for such an evocative poem - congratulations
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David Kavanagh
Date: 11/10/2024 12:16:00 PM
Woohoo! Thanks so much Dilly for your contest prompt and opportunity to write this pretty raw piece on mortality (first stanza is unflinching) but the (second jolt and stanza) is a dream within a dream, that casts a qualm on the first, and leaves death open ended, reflecting my own agnostic ambivalence on mortality, perhaps that last breath you mention is never conceivable to the individual, I’m delighted you enjoyed this dastardly piece lol! Cheers David
Date: 11/8/2024 12:35:00 PM
Dear david, this is such a creative and deep poem that actually sent shivers down my spine! How powerful! And soul stirring especially “ When life’s done it’s done For death can never be destroyed or undone ” such an honest and raw poem and i love your wordplay too, which is so fitting for the poem. I also love “I feel… I feel… Damn I feel so close Just like in life… I’m somewhere… almost!” So deep! But every poem you write is truly deep! And makes me sit and think! Im sure will do well, best wishes for the contest~ sending you light always
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David Kavanagh
Date: 11/8/2024 1:12:00 PM
High praise Ink, the opening stanza is pretty raw and dark possibly one of the bleakest I’ve ever written, sorry about those shivers down your spine, there is a certain amount of menace in those lines, but hope is there in the second stanza, well in the form of doubt, and I do have doubts but am not intrinsically troubled by them, I’ll grab that light you send as always, and say cheers in return, cheers David
Date: 11/8/2024 12:04:00 PM
I'm jumping in here with... shades of Sartre? Camus? in first stanza, jolting me into a stark eventuality. Resuscitation comes in the second stanza, a wave of hope. Di11y will love this great contender! Cheers~ Anaya
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David Kavanagh
Date: 11/10/2024 11:59:00 PM
Thanks so much Anaya, I’m so delighted with the win in Dilly’s contest, cheers David
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I Am Anaya
Date: 11/10/2024 12:36:00 PM
Congratulations on your win, David! i'm really happy you won 1st place!!
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David Kavanagh
Date: 11/8/2024 12:15:00 PM
Perhaps some shades of the great existentialist philosophers Anaya, although they would probably not be too happy with me offering a wave of hope, but truth is so long as there is a smidgen of doubt it can always be construed as hope, cheers David
Date: 11/8/2024 7:35:00 AM
You will always be somewhere, somehow.
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David Kavanagh
Date: 11/8/2024 10:39:00 AM
Even if only almost! Cheers David
Date: 11/7/2024 10:28:00 PM
Quite a forboding verse David, any hopes we had have long gone, Death can never be destroyed, so true. Where do we go after this? I'm not in any hurry to find out. The world is very unstable at the moment and could shatter into millions of pieces. Enjoy your weekend, could be the last, yikes. Tom
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David Kavanagh
Date: 11/8/2024 1:32:00 AM
Morning Tom, Ah but hope there is, even if it’s in the guise of (doubt) after my second jolt of the twilight, the opening stanza is raw unadulterated death, so it’s understandable that the reader might not see what the second stanza is (almost) saying, cheers David
Date: 11/7/2024 8:49:00 PM
Wow David. This one was filled with apprehension and doom. In this one your theme builds up and the terror builds in, in this Jolted by twilight creation of yours.You make me want to build a bomb shelter after reading this one David lol. Best of luck in your entry my friend...
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David Kavanagh
Date: 11/8/2024 1:24:00 AM
Heya Michael, the opening stanza in particular is dark and bleak, as indeed is death by its very nature, but that second stanza is a reminder of the unknown factor when doubt actually becomes interchangeable with hope, so hold off on the bomb shelter for now lol! Cheers David

Book: Reflection on the Important Things