James

Around the corner Of the unpaved driveway Was a claustrophobic shack The front door Was once a cherry red Like his father's 1968 Cadillac My car door echoed As my heels stumbled across the driveway Caught my balance on the porch swing Which is now cluttered From the insides of an ashtray I sat On his front porch Staring into the woods The July air Brought back all the memories Like I never knew it could We used to sit out here When his dad fell asleep Talking about getting married Sharing thoughts About how many kids we want To where we wanted to be buried I twirl his promise ring Around my finger As I hesitate at the front door It was unlocked But what was hiding behind it Was nothing I have seen before Everything was dirty From the carpets To the bare mattress in the living room Which was a boat To the ocean of bottles and cigarettes He would habitually consume I avoid stepping on food wrappers As I look at family photos My favorite one Was us with his nephew Right before he proposed I remember his sister Thanking me For making him a better person And how Without me His addiction would have worsened I glide my fingers Along the wall As I go into his bedroom There was a box With my name on it It held pictures and my old perfume Wrapped in a ribbon Were all my letters Secured in their envelopes I wrote once a week Telling him about school And how I tried to cope 9 months he was gone But every night I sat on my bed waiting for his call And I would whisper On the phone Until I saw the light go off in the hall My parents thought He was holding me back From my future plans But the red farmhouse 3 kids and the Cherokee Was never something they'd understand That all changed When fall came My junior year He loved me But his old friends started to reappear Mocked the changes in his life Spit on his progress Until it drowned his mind I left town Studied law For I became Nothing he wanted to find He apparently had a girl Move in Who was 2 years younger Had a little girl with her But he said He couldn't ignore the hunger Money Fueled his whole being Until his hands Were placed behind his back The police searched his place Tore everything apart And eventually towed his father's Cadillac 7 years have passed But I finally made it Back to his part of town Knowing all the whispers I had to see his house again And have one last look around