Jack 4

I lived so many years in a stupor being capable of turning crystals green Now I’m sober it’s different and naturally alters my state of mind Experiencing a wider range of feelings than I felt before Emotional intelligence can be an awkward companion though With heightened emotions my feelings become more revealing And revealing is exactly what it is and can lay you bare In the past when limited to anger and lust it seemed an easier place Supposedly strong and able to cope, with a glass permanently in hand Just accepting not being able to see, or so it seemed Life was a breeze back in those hazy days when totally blind with drink Lack of confidence or shyness masked with a cloak of inebriated skills Popular and sociable but really an island of loneliness in an ocean of friends Any social gathering, I was the first through the door and the last to leave Not sure when it happened but I started to dislike myself Like a stereotyped actor playing characters I no longer believed in Knowing where I was heading, I felt something seriously needed to change Sometimes I wonder how it is that the new simple can be so complicated There seems much more to balance with a supposedly clear head But can your head be clear if your mind is cluttered with so many thoughts Clarity appears to bring overthinking which sometimes doesn’t help When the darkness descends it weighs much heavier than before So I tell myself that I need to plant my feet firmly and embrace reality But that’s hard to do when unsure of what or who you are I don’t understand myself sometimes so how to explain to others I need my head in country roads not speeding down motorways Not easy when life requires a bullet train but I yearn for the orient express It’s true that life is full of challenges but often the biggest of all is ourselves