Terry Flood Poet Rhyme

Jabophobia

[in the interest of peace and harmony: this is
an observation on needles in general and not
on Covid vaccinations]

                                 *

I’ve no front teeth cos when I was twenty four
I lost those teeth to a very slippy floor
I’m nineteen stone and as big as I may be
There ain’t no way you’re sticking needles into me

I lost my leg back in nineteen ninety three
A Great White Shark bit it off below the knee
I bore that pain as I bled into the sea
But there ain’t no way you're sticking needles into me

The gash on my neck which I did when I was shaving 
Sure did sting but with no ranting and raving
It took a while to heal up and my blood ran free
But there ain’t no way you’re sticking needles into me

I grew up with my fists up for my neighbourhood was rough
The guns and knives (that’s just the wives) and punch ups made me tough
No shank and no machete made me turn about and flee
But there ain’t no way you’re sticking needles into me

I haven’t any fingers on my left hand anymore
They had an altercation with a spinning power saw
So pain and me, you see, share familiarity
But there ain’t no way you’re sticking needles into me

                                    *




[Just to clarify… I’m not 19 stone (266 pounds), I do have front teeth, I have two legs, eight fingers, two thumbs and I’m not scared of needles… form an orderly queue ladies…]

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Lindsay Laurie November 7, 2021 at 6:07 PM Hello Terry ... some things you can put up with and some things you won't put up with. We are turning into pin cushions though - thanks Terry - Lindsay Terry Flood November 8, 2021 at 11:26 AM Only an observation on how many big burly blokes quiver at the thought of a needle. Only a bit of fun. Cheers Lindsay. Terry

Gershon Wolf November 6, 2021 at 8:09 PM Gosh, do you think that an 'orderly' with two front teeth can attract a queue of fair maidens?! lol. ~ gw Terry Flood November 8, 2021 at 11:23 AM Ah, one can only hope, Gershon. ;-) Terry

L Milton Hankins November 3, 2021 at 12:59 PM Terry, I'm still chuckling because I believed every word of your poem...really, I did...so, I'm so glad you offered the ps at the bottom! My attitude after all I've been through in 80 years is, what's a little jab here and there????? It's quick and easy and the life I save may be of someone I love. Terry Flood November 3, 2021 at 3:48 PM Hi, Milt. UK tv has become so tedious that, for Annie and I, it seems to be mostly hospital documentaries. The guy who inspired this write, looked the type that would stab you if you asked his wife the time. But no way was he having pain relief by injection. I guess it’s about the irony rather than the individual. Terry

David Kavanagh November 3, 2021 at 12:52 PM You almost had me there Terry, I believed everything except the bit about needles, lol, the footnote is a stroke of genius, a good fun write with perhaps a little cautionary message, cheers David Terry Flood November 3, 2021 at 3:51 PM Thankyou David. If Annie ever realises what a dreadful mistake she’s made and I end up on a dating site, I’ll use that footnote as my profile. Terry

Ilene Bauer November 3, 2021 at 12:30 PM very funny, terry, but unfortunately, there are so many people out there who really feel that way. still, your poem brought out a grin - your writing is a delight to read! Terry Flood November 3, 2021 at 12:34 PM No offence meant to anyone. Just an observation that sometimes the biggest toughest people are scared of the tiniest needle. As I said to Tom… this was not covid inspired. Glad you enjoyed, Ilene. Terry

Tom Cunningham November 3, 2021 at 12:13 PM Lol, but on a serious note many dying of covid wished they'd had the jab, too late then. Tom Terry Flood November 3, 2021 at 12:27 PM Thanks, Tom. Actually, this was inspired not by covid, but by one of those ambulance programs in which this right ‘hard nut’ looking bloke refused point blank to have an injection. Terry

Rico Leffanta November 3, 2021 at 12:05 PM When my granddaughter went for her first innoculation, she immediately grabbed the appliance from the nurse and tossed it across the room (babies have a great grip), so she would applaud your poem! Terry Flood November 3, 2021 at 12:30 PM That I get. But the guy on tv that inspired this looked like he’d happily fight a gorilla if it looked at him funny… but no way was he getting needled. Terry Tom Cunningham November 3, 2021 at 12:11 PM Lol Rico